If you wish to view each post, click here!
*I’ve rebelled for the last 52 Weeks post and instead of choosing 1 photo I’ve chosen 6.
“And I’d unmask each one ’til they exile me”
I am finding it hard to write this last 52 Week of Self-Portrait post, and not just because right after taking these the corner of this lovely and very heavy mirror fell onto my very large forehead and gave me a concussion. But please do excuse me if I’m a little off my game writing this – I’ve spent the last two days lying in bed not being able to stand upright and function and am just getting back into having my full brain capacity back (is it really ever truly back?). So this week’s photos are supposed to be some meta type style post where I show you the Doppelgängers of photography. That weird notion that what I’m showing you on a weekly basis is such a narrow view of what’s actually happening. How I can change the perception of myself and my appearance at will to create another version of myself. In most of these I’m directly showing you the camera and using the mirror to show that other side and even how different the same person can look at just the slight difference of angle. It’s really the absurdity of self-portraits. When I see self-portraits done by professional photographers all I think about is their setup, their crew, the behind the scenes, what that looks like. How much thought they had to instil into that one image to create the perfection that can truly be expressed with self-portraiture. As you can tell by my series over the last year I don’t often use tripods and in fact when I do I look 100% more awkward and out of place with what to do with my body and my face. I always feel like the camera is an extension of my arm and when it’s not there I am at a loss…which I guess in theory makes me probably not a suitable photographer for self-portraiture. I’m unsure. I often realize I do self-portraits because I have an idea, something I want to create but do not have a model to test it on, which is a weakness I have to work on and this project has enforced that. I’ll be discuss more about my final thoughts about this project next Thursday so I won’t go more into that but basically thought for the last photo I wanted to share what it actually feels like if you were to be my neighbor and were looking out your window on occasion and seeing me in all manner of outfits taking photos of myself. How I can create my own Doppelgängers and transform myself. I’m not 100% happy with the final photos, I will be directly about that and they weren’t the original idea but fuck sometimes you just end up with the shots you end up with. Sometimes you end a project by giving yourself a concussion with the prop you are using – life happens. It’s the end. 52 Weeks came and went on Sunday.
51/52 A New Sky
A new beginning! It’s starting to really hit me that my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project is over. Just one more than I’m finished, I’m not hundred percent sure what I am going to be doing for it but I really want to do an elaborate photo-shoot (we will see if time and weather permits that). I think it will feel really weird when it does end as I am so use to coming up with ideas for it and planning shots or concepts I want to do. Not that I can’t keep creating those ideas but its different when you don’t have a time restraint. I feel like I’m one of those people who loves making myself busy, yet I am insanely lazy all at the same time? I don’t know how that works. My week off of the blog was nice in a way but I didn’t spend as much time as I wanted on my website or my crane projects. Without deadlines I think I’m a little lost. Feeling a bit down about that however this photo really made me feel like the 52 Weeks project was worthwhile. Hope you have a good week and I’m back this week with daily posts.
“Over and outside
Dark doves will fly
Over a new sky
Oh who you are”
50/52: 90s Child
52 Weeks of Self-Portrait is almost finished and I can’t believe I only have 2 more to do before completing an entire year of weekly self-portraits. The name for this week’s, 90s Child came about because of the amazing fake fur jacket I found at H&M yesterday. It’s an incredible find (only $30 on sale from $90) and I just had to pick it up because in the late 90s I always wanted this raver style jacket. It also has a bit of that Spice Girl’s vibe to it, so very 90s to me for some reason. Plus it has bear ears, so I think it’s supposed to be polar bear coat? Regardless it is now my favourite coat that I own, the only disappointment is I won’t be able to wear it very much this year as Winter is starting to disappear (there is a lot of hope in that statement since after week of beautiful weather it just snowed all weekend). The outfit is also very Batman. I don’t even know why I own a Batman pin and pants of the same logo but I do now and I love it. I picked up the pin in Toronto last month and for some reason a week ago when I saw these pants I decided they had to be mine even though I am only a fan of the original Batman series. I love the outfit and I never do OOTD’s – in fact I didn’t even know what that stood for until a week ago so I thought what the hey and did one before the project was through. The shirt is also H&M if you care and the two pigtails are going to be my new thing this spring so you might see me rocking them a lot. I haven’t figured out exactly how I want to style them so these are just quickly pulled together but I can’t wait to learn how to do more complex variations. Hope you are enjoying the end of your weekend and just a quick note that I will be taking the next week off because I need to do some work on both of my websites plus a few projects that I’ve been neglecting so I will see you next week on Sunday for the next 52 Weeks post!
More detailed shots of the outfit and hair!
This week’s self-portrait makes me very nervous and was one of the first ideas that came to me when I decided to do the 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project. I know it may seem like a regular photo to you but this photo was very hard for me to take and shows one of my biggest insecurities just out there for all to see. If you didn’t notice on my right knee I have a scar that is 8 inches long going straight down the middle (I like to joke the grim reaper made it with his scythe). I received this scar at the age of 13 after getting knee surgery to temporarily correct an incurable genetic knee disorder that I have in both knees (basically my knees dislocated whenever they want and I usually end up in the hospital every few years to get it put back in, and afterwards I can’t walk for about a month). I only have the one scar because I didn’t get surgery done of the 2nd knee as the surgery was so brutal I still haven’t recovered feeling/full motion 16 years later and the surgery doesn’t cure the problem instead it’s like a 4 year band aid. Although it’s a part of me I do go to great lengths to hide it from everyone, in fact there are some people who’ve been friends with me for years who’ve never seen it and don’t even know I have it. I almost never leave the house without wearing pants, leggings, or over the knee socks because of it and I can’t even remember what it’s like to wear shorts in the summer. I’ve worked on my insecurity a lot and yes in the last few years my rules about leaving the house with it covered have loosened and inside my house I wear whatever the hell I want but it’s still not something I go out of my way of share with people so today I’m sharing it with you. I’ve got plenty of other scars on my body that I’m proud of and not afraid to show the world but for some reason my knee one just breaks me down, so I decided it was important to include in this project. It’s who I am, and considering I will always have this knee disorder I should embrace it. I’ve actually thought a great project to do would be to do a whole series of people showing their scars and help them feel glamorous and beautiful despite any insecurity they have, it’s certainly something I need to work on myself!
Oh and it was snowing on me when I took this photo, why, Montreal, why? Although it has been only -3 most of the week the gods will not let us have spring just yet even though the time went back today (yay still sunny at 6pm!). At least it was warm enough to sit outside today barefoot in a large sweater and no pants on…cos that’s normal. My sweater btw is My Little Pony, so glorious. Check the photo below for a better look at it. Hope you have a great week and are feeling flawless today.
Another note, if you follow this project and noticed the number just leaped up from 43 to 49 today you are not crazy. I am apparently terrible at counting to 52 and for the last few weeks have been thinking it’s crazy that I had so many weeks left to do when I started this project in April. So yesterday I looked back at all my posts and realized a few of them had the same number and in September I actually put a number that was 6 weeks behind for some reason even though the week before was correct and have been counting 6 weeks behind since….I know…you can shake your head. I realize it’s really dumb of me and I’ve vowed never again to start writing this post at 3am as apparently I can’t count late at night, lol. That means only 3 weeks left!
I shot it outside my work on my lunch break, which I mean I think you can tell I did this last minute. It’s easy by looking at my photography to see I am a fan of natural lighting and clearly I don’t own a soft box and any fancy equipment that allows me to shoot indoors at ease. So when it’s the winter I get very overwhelmed by how little light there actually is. This week I had training at work which meant I had to be at work every day for the entire amount of sunlight that Montreal gives us this time of year and then had 1 day off this weekend before working another day shift today. I’m not complaining (too much) but today on the last day I could, I plucked up my camera before heading off to work where it was collecting dust from not being picked up all week and snapped this at the statue in the parc in front of my work. Can you see my frown lines? Yearly projects are draining, some days you hate them, some days you are grateful and again like my 365 Days Project I wonder if I’m missing the point completely?
47/52 The Snow Yak
I can’t believe there are only 10 more self-portraits left before I finish my 52 Week project. This week’s came to me in the middle of the night when I realized that soon the snow might be gone and thought, hey that Mark Ryden mask I have of The Snow Yak should make an appearance this winter. If you want a weather report of Montreal, it’s been snowing all week and -30 except for today so I’m crazy for thinking the snow will go away any time soon. I’ve been all over the place this week so it’s not hard to imagine my braid would leap there. My friend Zara is moving out of Montreal back to the West Coast and I think it’s really made me feel like I need to change up my life some way too so I’ve been obsession this week about organizing my house. Last night I finally hit my breaking point and I started moving furniture around at 3am (sorry downstairs neighbours) and completely changed how my living room/office looks. I had been thinking of turning our entrance room into a library of sorts and making the living room to be more functional as an office so I just started doing it. Right now everything around me is a mess but I feel like the next week I can organize and make positive changes and maybe that’ll clear my head a bit. This week inspirational song goes with the theme by the way, a British indie band by the name of…
“So I took a trip inside my mind
And it opened up these eyes which had been blind
I saw wonders I can’t define
Then I lost control and I fell
From this earthly heaven into hell
how long i stayed there, I couldn’t tell”
46/52 Rip My Heart Out
There was no way I was leaving my house for this week’s 52 weeks self-portrait as it’s been -30 all week, so instead I decided to play around with Victor’s laser pointer and make heart shapes in my living room. It seems every time I do black and white self-portraits that I do them in here, something I didn’t realize until I went to post this. I notice a lot of patterns when it comes to photo project, not matter how hard you try sometimes you just default to similar themes, locations, ectera. This week’s inspiration song btw makes me crack up. I think I’m the only person beside Victor who didn’t know about this amazing song. I heard it last weekend when I went to see my friend Derek dj and it’s been both of our’s jam since. Give it a listen if you haven’t heard it either. I’m in love with the coco…
“I’m in love with the coco
I’m in love with the coco
I got it for the low, low
I’m in love with the coco
36, that’s a kilo (aqui)
Need a brick, miss my free throw
I’m in love, just like Ne-Yo “
I usually don’t share the left-over photos from my weekly self-portrait project but I really wanted to share these double exposures. I find them really fun, and my outfit and make up really reminds me of my early 20’s (even though the sweater is so 90’s). The one of me with the spider eyes was really the one I wanted to make my 52 Weeks shot but it felt too similar to other ones I had done recently. I always try and curate my project week to week so sometimes ‘better’ photos don’t get selected. I love how even double exposures that don’t turn out 100% what you wanted are still fun to look at.
While I was visiting Toronto this week I thought I should try and do my 52 Weeks self-portrait which was probably not the greatest decision. It seemed the whole time we were there, either there was a snow storm outside or me and Victor were really busy eating and hanging out with friends. I couldn’t even snap one in the hotel because our room bizarrely enough didn’t have a window but instead a view of the hotel’s rock garden….it was like living in a basement suite all over again. Luckily yesterday we found this train museum after I decided I wanted to see the harbor and look at the frozen lake (which we never got to because we were too cold and had no idea where to go). It’s hard to see in this photo but I’m balancing on the last step of an antique train. I thought it was neat that it looked like I was floating above the snow below. As well I love when snowflakes stick to my hair. Hope you had a good weekend, I’m writing this from the train today as we slowly make our way back to Montreal and can’t wait to be home.
“I was addicted to ‘no absolutes’ kinda
But now I am very simple
Other interpretations possible
All this fear was drug induced
44/52 Cotton Candy Do
The 52 Weeks self-portrait this week is of my newest hair, which I officially duped the Cotton Candy Do because it really reminds me of watching someone spin cotton candy. There are just so many various gradients of color and the tonnage from the top to the ends is pretty epic. I was a little sad that I made it darker than I intended but it feels great to have gotten rid of my roots and updated the color. I can’t wait for it to get a bit more faded and more pastel. Today also marks the end of January and hopefully the end of being trapped inside. This weekend I actually had a lot plans before my friend who was supposed to be coming into town for a trip but flaked out and didn’t come last minute. I still did end up dancing till midnight last night for 2 hours in -22 weather but otherwise this week I stayed curled up tight inside my house except for when I had to go to work. I am pretty bored of taking photos on my balcony and house but next week I’m in Toronto and maybe I’ll get a chance to take a more exciting photo. Hope you guys have a good week.
(I didn’t know these existed until last night and have been listening to them non-stop since – there is 110 of them and Aphex Twin created a fake Soundloud account and just started uploading them some time last weekend.)
What else can you do when it’s been a week straight of -20 temperatures beside make a mask out of your hair and looking longing outside….I mean probably a lot of things. This just happens to be what I did for this week’s self-portrait. I love weird hair photos and this marks the end of my roots so it’s almost a memorial to them. Goodbye natural blond, hello pastel blue and purple. Right now I’m sitting here with bleach in my hair and by next week I should have it all kitted out. Nothing makes me more excited for photos than a new hair color.
Am I nerd because I enjoy this photo simply because it has a Plague Doctor mask in it? Well it’s not %100 that mask but it does have the correct beak for it. It’s actually some cheap theater mask from Dollarama that I bought a few years ago in the hopes of transforming it one Halloween. Me and best friend Ana in our early 20’s always had a desire to dress up as Plague Doctors together but never did. I found it last night in my kitchen cupboard while organizing and wanted to wear today. I do love the silhouette of me and the mask as it’s hard to tell this is a self-portrait. Double exposures are great for that. If you wanted to see me wearing the mask, here is a silly shot of me on my balcony:
Haha. I have a few more double exposures of me wearing this mask that I might just share at some point and time. I have a real trouble with this 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project simply being satisfied with one photo. There is more black and white photography coming up this week, enjoy!
This week’s self-portrait for my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project came about because I’ve been thinking a lot about a part of my past this week and I really just wanted a release myself from it. What better way to do this then dress up in my favourite sweater and put on my new black lipstick (which reminds me of my early 20’s and goth days) and take a photo of me happy and confident. So far it’s worked and helped me focus on more important things. I find it really hard if I’m triggered on something to not go down the rabbit hole….something I am working on. I ended up taking more than just 1 photo of myself and have a ton on interesting double exposure shots that I will be sharing soon as well so you may see more of this combination in the upcoming weeks. Hope you have been having a great week. I am starting mine with a fresh mindset
“This is forgiven, if the uniform fits
Postponed, at the first showing
This is the tension mold of frozen icicles
And it feels like it’s snowing, you speak in tongues
Tremors that warn us of ourselves”
Have a look back at the last year of self-portraits! Sunday’s post since I started this blog has been dedicated to my vast collection of self-portraits – whether I am documenting the ever changing color of my hair or doing my more avant garde style of portrait photography. In March of this year I decided to start a 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project after finishing off my 365 Challenge of daily photography. Right now I’m roughly less than 3 months away from completed it, and boy it hasn’t been easy to make it this far. I always thought I took far too many photos of myself (which happens when you have anxiety and have problems arranging photo shoots with anyone else besides me) but one thing this project has taught me is that I really don’t like taking my photo that often so Sunday’s post will likely no longer be after March. You can check out just the photos from that project here, or click the link/photo if you want to see all the self-portrait photography of 2014.
40/52 My Other Half
This week’s self-portrait has a guest! Victor who feels so much like an extension of me at this point it seems silly not to include him in this project for at least once photo (I guess I technically did in one of October’s self-portraits but this one he is actually awake for). I’m not very good, at least not anymore about capturing photos of us together. I remember for our first anniversary I put together a little photo book of portraits of us together and then again on our 2nd anniversary and realized how smaller it was the 2nd time. The 3rd year I just gave up as there were so few photos to choose from and decided not to do it. Still haven’t either (probably should do that for the last 3 years even if they are half the size of the first two books). The books were so good as well to see what we did in the year because there are all types of memories stored in them, whether it was what we wore for Halloween, parties with friends, or discovering a new city together. It’s strange how shared experiences go such a long way to forming bonds and making relationships even stronger. We’ve been by each other’s side for 5 years straight, and lived together for almost all 5 years too. Beside a week trip to Toronto, a few days here and there road tripping with Zara and a trip to Vancouver (which he joined me on after a week) we’ve almost never been apart since we meet on New Year’s 5 years ago. Two peas in a pod. So since it was our anniversary this week I wanted to share a photo of us. Taken today after a hell of an ice storm just standing in our backyard in our comfy H&M pants no need for anything more….
Sometimes the best photos of a spur of the moment, like this week’s multiple exposure self-portrait. This mask is of a cat, but I feel like it makes me look like a Valkyrie in these photos. My best friend Ana gave it to me as a Christmas present and I love it so much I had to include it in this week’s 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait. Next week I hope it snows as I’ve yet to take a snow photo this winter. Hope you all have a good holiday, see you next week!
They puzzle me
Then the riddle gets solved
And you push me up to this
State of emergency
How beautiful to be
State of emergency
Is where I want to be”
38/52 Home Sweet Home
Some weeks I just get lost and feel like I can’t possibly recover. Most of those weeks are when my insomnia and anxiety are controlling me and my life is too much. Every day becomes me trying to fix my problems with in one fell swoop but instead spending the day too tired to even accomplish the simplest of things. Like a weekly photo…..so I sat on my couch in my new fuzzy sweater and I tried to hide.
“The shadow from the former
Over my shoulder waiting to take me home
I heard its every call
I know what it wants
I’m willing to leave for home”
37/52 My Little Pony
I may have made this photo this week’s self-portrait because I’m wearing my new My Little Pony sweater. Sometimes I just want to have fun with this project and not take it that seriously. At the end of the day really what’s better than having 52 photos that make you smile and remember what was going on that week. This week I spent a good amount of time finishing off the last of my Christmas presents and put up my Monthly DIY which was dedicated to the slide necklace I am wearing. It’s been a busy week filled with many ups and downs and very very little sleep. So I think I’m going to head off there now, hope you have a great week. Oh and here is the sweater in all it’s glory:
This week’s self-portrait is the official look at my new lilac / lavender hair (ssshhhh I know I had it in last week’s photo too). My hair is also curled up since this was taken the night I went to my work’s union Christmas party which was amazing. I had hoped to do a little photo shoot with it but since I worked that day by the time I was home and had my outfit and hair all done up it was dark outside. Never a fan of darkness at 3pm, it’s really depressing to me. Next week I may actually leave my house and go outside when it’s not dark – that sounds like a good idea. I’m not a day person and I’ve been working midnight shifts so I’ve either sleeping during the day or having a million other things to do inside and finishing up life things just as night falls. Will need to make next week’s self-portrait a priority and plan ahead. As for the hair, I’ve never had this colour of purple before and it took about 2 weeks of just subtly dying it with conditioner mixed with just a tiny amount Special Effects Wildflower. I am in love, and think it’s perfect for the winter.
I’ve falling in love with the Vieux-Port in the last month and thought I couldn’t go wrong choosing it to be the location for the last one of my mtlcranes featuring 80’s lyrics. I wanted to share the moment with you so I happily took this week’s self-portrait with it before watching it whip around in the wind and hoping one of the joggers and many walkers by would notice it before it snowed again (his name is Cobalt). There is something about being near the river that makes me feel a little calmer and it’s honestly the best place to be in Montreal when the sun starts to set because the beauty of it seems to come alive during dusk. Standing around in -4 weather was probably not the smartest idea…I may have stayed by the river’s windy banks watching the water and taking photos of the bridge and the Clocktower for hours as well and didn’t leave until my hands were too cold to even click the shutter anymore but it was a great walk. It was also nice capturing my lavender or lilac hair for the first time as well, it’s still not complete as I need to do some more tweaks to the color in areas but I love it and am so excited to have lavender hair for winter. It felts like a great way to spend part of my day off and I let go of a lot of stress I’d been feeling lately. I’ll leave you the song lyrics that were written on Cobalt’s tag:
“I am the son and the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of the nothing in particular”
34/52 Photographer Eye
The hardest thing about doing a 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits challenge is actually taking one photo of yourself every week. This month I have been really frustrated with my photography and really wanting to step back from it and take a break to really see where I want to put my focus on for the new year and basically not feel like I’m stuck in rut for inspiration. None of that is possible when you ‘have’ to take a photo of yourself but still have the desire to actually make the photo interesting, non-generic and stand out not only as a self-portrait but from the other ones you’ve done in the months leading up this point. It’s hard, on top of it my hair is still this mishmash of colors and I’m sick (boo hoo is me right? lol). I’ve considered stopping but I am really interested in seeing what I end up with a year later for self-portraits. I see the value in a project like this but I do realize why some people never do projects like this – and it’s not because it’s hard. It’s because as a photographer, you know what you like in your photography and others – you don’t ‘have’ to take a photo or be in a situation where you show people photography that you don’t think is of your standard….projects like 365 and 52 Weeks Projects lead to that happening because you aren’t allowed to not share it and do it again later. I know next year when I’m done this project I will not being another one like it again. It gives me inspiration but it also stifles my creativity and energy. I wish I had enough time in my week to pour as much love into this project as I could but with everything I do sometimes it doesn’t even come into my Top 10 list of things to do this week. My ‘photographer eye’ is something that’s important to me as an amateur photographer because it’s how I share my view of the world. Sometimes I don’t want that to be anything less than the best, which is one reason I have been in need a break this month. Do projects like this really let you show your best? Let me know what you think in the comments and if you’ve run into the same wall yourself in the past with your photography. Love to hear from you!
This week’s self-portrait I will admit was totally last minute as I completely forgot to take a photo this week in my Christmas shopping haze and the arrival of all my craft. It’s taken in front of harlequindavidson’s graffiti piece near the Expozine that happened over the weekend. It was crazy, one day I was just browsing Expozine on the hunt for a graphic novel or perhaps an amazing photography zine (found awesome graphic novels but sadly all in French, and okay photography zines) and the next I had a table? Don’t ask me, I just showed up today with my postcards and portfolio and sat at a table for a few hours. Didn’t really sell much but it’s Expozine…and I don’t have a zine. BTW thinking of making my own photography zine (hahah smooth transition no?). I would probably do a combo of written words and photography as it’d be a neat way to connect with people. It was really fun the first day; the 2nd day was slightly traumatic as I don’t really like putting myself out there artist wise. It was really amazing to come outside and take photos with the pink smiling house that matched my hair, cheered me up and I think the photo captures my mood excately – the introvert me trying to hide. The artist does stickers and all kinds of pieces all over Montreal and anytime I spot one I smile ear to ear. His work makes me really happy and I really needed that after a long day. Also I’ll be doing a loot post of all the artist zines, prints and other goodies I picked up on Wednesday if you are curious!
The self-portrait for this week’s contribution to my 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits was taken during a walk around the harbour in Vieux-Montreal on Thursday. I was walking around listening to Our Lady Peace and just enjoying the crisp air that happens when it’s about to rain (it did rain on me a little bit towards the end). I had a discussion with Victor about the photo because he doesn’t think a photo of my feet constitutes a ‘self-portrait’ which I argued is fair but at the same time – it is a body part. I’ve also included a photo of my feet before in this project so I’ve already created a president anyways. I had planned to take another photo but I fell in love this multiple exposure, and how the pebbles of the pavement made the shot of the harbour look like it is under shallow water or being besieged in snow. I took a few as well by the Clock tower, perhaps it was my cloud socks that attracted me – I have a habit of taking photos of my socks and leggings. Lol. They are my favourite fashion accessory but I know there are those that groan at people who take photos of their feet…I just can’t help it. I am hopefully changing my dull faded hair color this week btw as my hair dye is finally being shipped! I wish it was possible to find Special Effects dye in Montreal. Sadly I have to buy from Vancouver so it takes a little while. You’ll have to see next week what color I’ve decided to do.
Like a machine they’ll fix you from the start
I’m in repair
The life that we share
I know that I’ll be lost in
But we’re always in repair”
31/52 Come to Daddy
I felt I had to make the self-portrait for my 52 Weeks Project this week my Halloween costume. My costume this year was Aphex Twin, yes that DJ I’ve been going on about non-stop since he put out his newest record Syro in late September. The costume is a little lazy of me because I made the mask 6 years ago for fun, it is his album cover for ‘Richard D James” and the for the rest of the costume is clothes I already had in my closet and a ginger ratty wig from Dollarama. I’ve had so much going on this month that I couldn’t really place a lot of focus on making or spending money on a costume. It’s kind of an insane costume to begin with so maybe I’ll revisit it sometimes and make an exact replica of one his video characters. I’m supposed to be one of the children from his video “Come to Daddy”, oh and I may have made a gif of me… (if you want to see the gif with the added sound, click here)
Spent so much of my week going for walks and enjoying Montreal while I can before it’s hide-inside-season. This self-portrait was taken at Parc LaFontaine while I was passing by. I was taking photos of the trees as I just love the ever changing colors of the leaves and this tree seemed to have every color imaginable. After a few shots of the tree I decided I wanted to be a part of it and devised this shot. It took a few tries to get one I really like but this feels the most special and is only the 2nd double exposure I shot of the day. I’ve included another one below that I also really like – it’s hard to choose some weeks what photo to feature. Also my inspiration for this week and worth a listen is my wonderful boyfriend’s mixtape. It’s his first one he’s made and he decided to feature only Montreal electronic artists, I think it’s really mellow and perfect for the season!
‘Though some may hold the rose some hold the rope.’
This week’s self-portrait for my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait is something I’ve wanted to do all week. I’ve still not found the perfect use for my projector within my art as there really isn’t room in my house to properly use it (originally I bought it for making visuals with and for art shows). However it’s fun to pull it out and look at my photography being projected onto the wall. Sometimes I wonder what I’d do if I had a proper studio to have lights setup and equipment like my project…a dream for right now. Last night I decided to create something for the upcoming goth Christmas (that’s Halloween).
“If I could tear you from the ceiling,
I know the best have tried,
I’d fill your every breath with meaning,
And find a place we both could hide.
If I could tear you from the ceiling,
I’d freeze us both in time,
Find a brand new way of seeing..
Your eyes forever glued to mine.”
*the above link doesn’t lead to Blind but it’s another great song that gives me all the feels.
28/52 Flower Child
This week’s self-portrait for 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits is brought to you by me being locked outta the house after walking around the Plateau picking flowers last Sunday. I thought since I was stuck there I should try and take a photo of me huddling for warmth on the red picnic table in the ‘backyard’ for my apartment. I kill an hour of time there while waiting for Victor to get home from shopping. Luckily I had tons of pretty flowers that I picked to also take photos of. So for a kind of boring shot, lately I am not feeling taking really complex shots of myself, just preferring a simpler self-portrait style. Perhaps I’m getting lazy because I am so excited about shooting other things, I find myself a bit boring as a subject matter. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve had the same hair color for the whole summer and the start of Fall. I’m actually getting hair dye shipped to me from Vancouver this week so my hair should be look different in a week or two! No inspiration this week, but if you want to know what I’ve been listening to…its Aphex Twin again.
27/52 Holding Hands
I love this week’s self-portrait, mostly because it’s me and the person who is constantly by my side for the good times and all the shitty times. This summer although fun and amazing was pretty stressful for a mired of reasons and he’s really been so good to me. He’s always there and sometimes having lived with him for almost 5 years I forget that. Laying on our beach towels as Aphex Twin blasted through my tiny portable speakers sun bathing / holding hands I just had the urge to capture the moment. I’m glad I did (although my poor sunburnt back says otherwise).
*it would be a lie if I said I’ve been listening to anything else this week, it’s just been Aphex. Oh and here is a self-portrait of me sitting in the lake just in case you forgot what I looked like :p
Last week’s self-portrait for my 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits is a little late because we didn’t arrive back from the trip until really late on Sunday and I’ve been in a really weird head space from work for the last few days. This is my mermaid portrait I was very excited to take and I think it turned out nice and dreamy. Although I’m a little addicted to taking multiple exposures of anything and water as I love the water-painting effect the ripples create. I spent so much of this day swimming and ended up sitting in the shallow waters of the lake taking photos of my toes and the water and doing other silly things that an adult probably should do for the afternoon. Oh and my inspiration this week is actually just the M.I.A. song that was played a millions times on the drive there and back as my friend I think only had 1 CD in her car (Slum Dog Millionaire soundtrack). I’ve been listening to her a lot in the last two months, if you don’t know much about her I suggest reading her Wikipedia as she’s really fascinating even if you aren’t into her music.
“All I wanna do is (BANG BANG BANG BANG!)
And (KKKAAAA CHING!)
And take your money”
-M.I.A. “Paper Planes”
Spending my nights glancing into the sunsets on my lamp…okay maybe not but I do love the way the light from the lamp is bouncing off my face. This lamp is probably the most useful thing that happened this week since I’ve been sick. I’ll actually have a DIY on how to make your own slide lamp on Thursday if you are curious. It’s been a pretty tame week as I’ve been trying to rest up, except for going out to eat and celebrate Chilean Independence Day on Thursday I’ve just been working away at planning future posts and getting stuff done. Can’t believe I’m almost at the half way point of my 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits project.
Before I can explain that I mean
Before I can tell you
Man has lost control of his life”
I cannot begin to state how excited this week’s self-portrait makes me. There is just something about dangling my feet over edges that always makes me feel a bit free. I think most people think its stupidity and dangerous but when you are comfortable with your own safety and you’re not being overly reckless it just feels like you’ve escape life confines and rules for a short moment. It’s the same sensation I get when I am swimming in the ocean. I would have stayed up there listening to Aphex Twin and A Tribe Called Red for hours if I could have. Instead I just spent half an hour there before heading back down to the ground level as we had finished exploring the silos and adjacent buildings. I also managed in the first few minutes there to smug tar on my forehead and it was impossible to remove, and I was still wet in this photo from biking in the rain to get to the Silos…so this week’s portrait is extra glamorous. Also on completely unrelated note, my hair is getting super pale and faded but I kind of enjoy it – don’t worry though it’ll be changing soon enough. I’m thinking purple for the next colour or maybe grey.
I also made a short video as it’s almost impossible to really capture what it’s like up there (watch in HD):
A little late but here is this week’s self-portrait, a shot of me and my crane embodiment Luna – Luna who likes pina coladas and getting stuck in the rain. *laughing* This was taken today (which would explain why I’m post this close to midnight) while I was doing my mtlcrane project. I will be talking more about my crane project this week actually, but in short I am putting cranes up all over Montreal with little name tags with silly 80’s songs and I name each one and take photos of them before walking away. Today I hung up my favourite crane which I gave my name and I thought it was just the perfect representation of me (I’ve included my feet as well as I loved the texture of this bridge). The placement of the crane also has a weird emotional attachment to me because this particular bridge reminded me so much of my birth place Edmonton, Alberta. I lived there until I was 6 and the one thing that left a big impression on me even after all these years was the bridges they have there. This bridge was the same color and material as the one near my childhood home so it’s very appropriate that my crane was placed there. Today’s inspiration by the way is the amazing new Aphex Twin song – it’s too good.
What a great way to spend the last week of summer, on the beach, drinking, listening to Shaggy on speakers and watching the sunset. I thought there couldn’t be a better self-portrait this week than me cheesy poising in front of Jacques-Cartier Bridge. You can tell how impromptu it was because I’m not wearing a stich of make-up except blush (although honestly I hardly wear make-up except blush and mascara). It’s was a great last moment of summer and hopefully we have a few more even though it’s September tomorrow. I’m not holding my breath as the rain has already started up again but it may just happen. Fun portrait for the week and I think I’ll try and not do a double exposure for a while as it’s been a stable of the summer. Hope you had a good last week too!
“Mr. Lover lover, Mr. Lover lover, girl, Mr. Lover lover
She call me Mr. Boombastic say me fantastic, touch me in me back
she say I’m Mr. Ro…mantic “
I had a lot of fun this week on the last few days of my summer vacation. I may have went a little crazy with photos so bare with me as it will take me a few weeks to share all of them with you…I realize that sounds like I took a shit ton of self-portraits, lol. Don’t worry its photos from my road trip and photo shoots of friends. This week’s self-portrait was taken on Thursday when I tagged along with my friend Zara to the abandoned car park to try our hand at making graffiti. She wanted someone to come along while she practiced spray painting for the first time and it was a lot of fun. I even did my own piece, although it doesn’t compare to her’s because I can’t really draw or paint (honestly I can’t, even stick figures are painfully bad). I decided to do little octopus with swirls and it made me laugh at least. At the end I did a multiple exposure shot of the silhouette of my face looking outside the factory window with a shot of my graffiti and I think we can all agree I should stick to photography!
“Little hope, sing a song of fire
I grow up to be just like that
(little hope, little hope)
Sing a song of fire”
– Iamamiwhoami “Y”
20/52 Lady of the Lake
For this week’s self-portrait I’m sharing a multiple exposure photo I took of myself at the Sandbanks Provincial Park in front of Lake Ontario. We arrived after about a 3 hour drive and ferry ride from Montreal. Escaping the rain of Quebec but greeted with clouds and the wind which caused the waves of the lake to swell to higher heights than normal. Me and my friend Zara eagerly hit the beach and decided to conquer the waves. It was this amazing experience crashing and jumping the waves as the wind swirled around us. Much warmer than I’m use to with river or ocean swimming which was such a nice change, especially since the sun was nowhere to be seen for our whole time at Sandbanks. We were so happily exhausted by the end we could do nothing more than get back in the car and head on our way to our true destination Peterborough to visit our friend Sarah…but not after I managed to take a few photos of myself, the beach and Zara jumping the waves. It was one of those road trip experiences I long for in the summer, it was amazing. The whole trip despite the bad weather was really great and I’ll be sharing tons of photos from our trip over the next few weeks. Today’s song is one Zara played me while on the car ride home.
“Nouse tuuli tuulemahan Stig nu vldig vind att brusa
vihkurit vetelemn stormilarna stort att susa
Tuule tuuli kuusi vuotta Rasa vinden genom ren
seuro seitsemn kes tjut igenom mnga somrar”
– Hedningarna “Tuuli”
19/52 Rainbow Warrior
Seriously so in love with my hair right now I just had to show off its many shades in this week’s self-portrait. It looks different from almost every angle and has so many weird little veins of colours. Pale hair always seem so fitting for summer and I think I owe some of its faded glory to the fact I keep swimming in chlorine. It’s developed this weird greyish green colour at the tips on the teal side that is just beyond what you could actually do with dye. Also the song this week is one of my all-time favourites – seeing Cocorosie live is one of the greatest concert experiences I’ve had and I went by myself and just spent it being awed by them.
“We are Rainbowarriors
Evil come not near
Rainbow love awaits us
With hearts of love and tears”
– Cocorosie “Rainbow Warrior”
18/52 River Watching
This week’s self-portrait came totally out of randomness when me and my friend passed by a train bridge driving through a small town. We stopped the car and hopped out to investigate and take photos. In the photo I’m sitting on one of the bridge’s beams dangling my legs over the river below. I’m also not wearing any make-up as I cried most of it out laughing with Zara hours before picking blueberries. It was just so peaceful and relaxing sitting on the edge that I really wanted to try and share the moment with you even though it’s not the greatest photo. I’ve really started to think about how weird it’ll be to look back at my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project next year and see all these moments in times that I may have forgotten about and the evolution of my hair. Speaking of my hair, it’s so pretty right now I’ve included a photo below of it and me squinting in the sun while on the land part of the train tracks.
17/52 Needle in the Hay
Today’s self-portrait is just a classic style of black and white portrait photography using triple exposure to get the effect of the leaves around my face. I was working on a more ‘spookier’ idea with me holding my two floating heads but I’m not a master at having similar facial expressions in 3 constitutive shots so it was a bit hard to get a shot I liked (example: one would be still, another angry and another more frightening…my expressions kept throwing the shot off). I did love how serene I looked in this one so I cropped out the rest of the shot. I’ve always wondered what my photography would look like if I photoshopped it and did effects like most modern photographers but I’m just happy taking simple shots to be bothered with it. Hope you like and next week is super busy so it’s good idea I already kind of know what I want for next week.
“There’s a name you keep repeating
You got nothing better to do
And you’re with someone who’ll hear you say it and just nod
Her hand on your arm
Her hand on your arm
She put her hand on your arm
And told you her name you can’t pronounce it
I’ll show you around this alphabet town”
– Elliott Smith “Alphabet Town”
Had a tough time getting time to take any self-portraits this week but I love how this turned out. My art wall in my living room / office with original artwork and prints from artist all over the world it one of the greatest parts of my apartment. It means so much to me to be able to have art in my life. Speaking of such, I have an amazing concept I’m going to be spending a lot of time trying to perfect this week. I took a few photos of it this afternoon but in the end thought I could spend a lot more effor and time doing it instead of just half-assing it just to have a photo today. 52 weeks is tough, I’m only up to 16…
“I can’t see you anymore
It’s like I walked the bridge so far
I can’t see you anymore
Even if I wanted to
Even if I wanted to
Even if you wanted me to”
– Benoit and Sergio “Bridge So Far”
This week’s self-portrait for my 52 Weeks project is very different from what I had intended. Being on vacation for a solid week I thought for sure I’d be able to find time to spend to do a proper photo-shoot and had envisioned one of my more unusual ideas coming into play…..I may not seem like it but I’m really a go with the flow type of person and if there was one thing my body has been telling me all week, it was that I needed to recharge. With the stress of turning 29 and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and working hard on my passions…I just really needed a break. This photo makes me smile because it was taken on my birthday at 4am sitting on the bridge by my house, and not only am I experiencing one of my longest fears (bridges and heights) but I was watching the sunrise listening to amazing music and doing my favourite thing in the world – taking photographs. The one thing that could have made my birthday anymore special was a day at the beach because I love water (mostly I love the ocean but we don’t have that here in Montreal). Sadly it wasn’t in the cards but yesterday I did go and it was amazing and so refreshing. Some things just make you feel whole again!
“Through the warmthest
Cord of care
Your love was sent to me
I’m not sure
What to do with it
Or where to put it
I’m so close to tears
And so close to
Simply calling you up
I’m simply suggesting
We go to the hidden place
That we go to the hidden place
We go to the hidden place
We go to a hidden place”
– Bjork “Hidden Place”
*I listened to her album Vespertine the whole time I was taking this photos. Such a beautiful song, check it out here!
14/52 Paper Cranes
This week I finally finished my installation of paper cranes in my living room and I just had to take a photo of me mixed in with them. I am just so in love with looking at them from my desk swaying in the breeze from my fan (did I mention it’s 30+ degrees here like all the time now – I literally die anytime I am not in front of my fan ). It’s really fun to stand on my couch and just let them surround me – I have so many different patterns and designs to all the cranes it’s the best way to look at them. It’s probably a good thing they aren’t over my desk because I would probably get lost just watching them. I also have my Valentine’s gift with me, a super cheesy heart hold dragon in neon pink. FYI I’m always hella awkward looking when I take photos of myself using a tripod (or when other people take photos of me). for some reason when I’m holding the camera it just feels apart of me. Things to work on with my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project.
“I will wade out
Till my thighs are steeped
In burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
And leap into the ripe air
Alive with closed eyes
To dash against darkness”
– Bjork “Sun in my Mouth”
13/52: Blending In
I just had to make this the self-portrait for this week. I had too much fun last Sunday at the Malting Silos to not include the double exposure of myself that I took there against the buildings large graffiti filled silos. I must be missing taking photos with film because I keep converting photos I’ve taken with my digital and trying to process them to look like black and white film. I just love how this shot turned out and is really excited by how much I blend into graffiti on the building. Tomorrow marks the last day of work before I am on an almost two week vacation from my job so I am hoping to really try and capture some amazing shoots then. Perhaps explore some self-portraits without using double exposure? Hahaha, it’s been my go to lately but I’ve really been enjoying taking them and trying to capture unique situations but I have a few things I need more time to dedicate to them so they will be perfect to take now that I’m on my vacation.
“Sails catch any wind that they can
Through any ocean to any land
There’s no worries
Power carries no concern
Silhouetted by the fields as they burn
There’s no worries
You’re falling straight into our hands
No compromise,and no demands
You’re falling straight into our hands
Into our hands,into our hands
Still water hides an undertow
You can’t fight what you can’t control
There’s no worries “
– Sparta “Red.Right.Return”
I love when an idea just comes to me and I’m like, okay I have to see if it works. The rough idea for this self-portrait is a double-exposure of myself in a painting. Really this is just a test shot to see how it would look and whether it would be a worthwhile project. Pretty pleased with it and think it can be improve so much since obviously it’s just 4 lines of colors on a white paper. I wish I was a better painter or even good at drawing, think how amazing to have a double exposure of the reality and then the artwork sync’d on top of it. Or even just to create a mosaic of various patterns and visuals exposed on top of a portrait. Interesting idea, think I will try doing more of this in the future. Try it out yourself!
“at the bottom of the ocean
this scenery can fail calm
up till now been riding fine, yeah
but the curving walls leave me behind, yeah”
– Sparta “Air”
If you want to see what it looks like when I don’t do double exposures, here is just plain old me.
11/52 Alternative Personality
Today’s self-portrait features one of my mixed media masks. The mask was made with a self-portrait photograph, it’s hard to tell it me since it looks more monster than myself but that’s what I love about it. The whole image is really inspired by a portrait of my best friend that I was working on last night. The portrait was in color but I had converted it to black and white and I kept thinking how I don’t shoot very much in black and white and thought I’d try it out for this week’s 52 Week photo. I’m happy with the results but wish I had more chances this week to take photos. Montreal needs to stop raining, it’s no fun.
“I got supplies, you got demands
I got the sense that you can’t understand
I got supplies, you got the demand
I got the feeling you don’t give a damn
You can have it all
Anything you want
You can have it all
Everything I’ve got”
–Fischerspooner “Supply & Demand”
A silly photos this week for my 52 Weeks project because I wanted to share how rainbow my newest hair color looks. For those of you out there with dyed hair, do you ever do this? I always love taking photos of my hair flipped upside down when I have a lot of colors in. It’s bit harder to do now that my hair is so long. I’ve actually been getting recently a lot of comments about how long it is. It definitely not that fun having it long in this heat but for summer the bright colors go well with all my summer dresses. I just wish my neon green actually liked to stay green and not yellow. If you want to know what colors I used its Special Effects Cupcake Pink, Special Effects Atomic Pink, Manic Panic Atomic Turquoise, and Manic Panic Electric Lizard. Oh and you can see one of my tattoos in the photo – just barely.
08/52 Nap Time
After this week the best thing in the world was to lie in this hammock and sway back and for a few minutes enjoying the brief sunny weather while watching the rain clouds going over head of me. I still occasionally get the little kid urge to spend an afternoon watching the clouds go past and we were in the perfect location for that (you’ll see more photos from this day in an upcoming post and how amazing the clouds were). I’m really enjoying my 52 Week project as I end my 2nd month of it, the mix of casual shots with my art photography makes me smile. I’ve been listening to Joe Stummer’s record Global A Go-Go btw for the two days and I forgot how great of a summer album it was – check it out if you’ve never heard (there is a link below to one of the songs).
“ ”I took a tram into the fourth dimension
‘Cos I had the blues, the blues of throwing it all away
Just gimme a Tequila, I’ll slam it the 4 D way
And when I got there you know it had certain similarities”
07/52 Flowers of Romance
This week’s self-portrait was suppose to be a double exposure using one of my Polaroid cameras but out of all the test shots and my camera eatting one exposure it just didn’t happen that way. On our way from a piknic yesterday I spotted a flower tree (which is uber rare in Montreal) and just had to take some shots. Managed to grab a few before Victor made me hurry along since it was getting cold and he wanted to get to the resturant. I’ve lightened up the whole photo a bit so you can’t see the background as much, but like usual no photoshop pride!
“ Now in the summer
I could be happy or in distress
Depending on the company
On the veranda
Talk of the future or reminisce
Behind the dialogue
We’re in a mess
Whatever I intended
I sent you flowers
You wanted chocolates instead
The flowers of romance”
I am really enjoying my 52 Weeks Project, at the very least it will make an amazing catalog of my hair. Every girl needs that right? A reminder of all the horrible things she’s done to her hair. This btw is the most neon my hair has looked. I mentioned before my co-worker said I looked like a highlighter pen and I just love that comparison. This week was a really casual week and I felt I needed a casual self-portrait to go along with it. I think this photo trips me out a little because my eyes are so grey (love my colored contacts). This might be the last you see of this hair combo as well, already have a new color lined up for the yellow half.
“Something’s got a hole in my head
And I didn’t know
Yeah, and when you come on
And it brings a new type of grace
And it keep coming back for more
And it leaves me with a shimmering face
And it keep coming back for more
Neon, when you come and go”
–The Knife “Neon”
03/52 Easter Bunny
Happy Easter!!!! Today’s self-portrait is super silly but when I found bunny ears to match my hair – I just knew it had to be a post. Plus I wanted to show off my new hair color. I call it watermelon although when I told my co-workers about it this week they all assumed I was making it red and green. So curious whether it’s just me that thinks of watermelon as neon pink and neon green. It’s my favourite color combo but this is my first time I’ve had it for my hair. Disappointed in the green since it’s not what I wanted as it was impossible to 100% remove the pink before dying it and somehow turned out super yellow. I tried bleaching that side of my hair 3 times to remove my faded pink color and my hair wouldn’t let go. I didn’t want to try bleach it again so I have to live with it’s dark streaks of pink until I can buy a darker green. It’s fun for Spring though…I had an amazing Easter long weekend btw. Hope you did too.
“Sitting by the river, I think I smell some rain
Silver puddles glitter behind the old jail
Wet snails get wetter, crawling towards perfume
The air silks like snow
Moth wings crumble by a day-lit fire
Ash of dead wood pile
Higher, pyre for false gods,
Welcome to the afterlife…“
– Cocorosie ‘After the Afterlife‘
02/52 All That Glitters
Today’s self-portrait I was tried to capture a silhouette of myself. I will have to share more of these because it was so hard deciding on just one and the series turned out beyond what I was aiming for. Which is an exhilarating feeling. I much prefer this self-portrait in it’s vertical position but thought I’d share both with you so below is how I intend the image to be…
“What lies beyond the fringe of the woods?
Dust to dust, so we leave for good
When all has gone to blazes I start to run
Until I find places where nobody’s gone
No more weight on your conscience
With ease, I go back to the start”
– Iamamiwhoami “Fountain”
01/52 Au Natural Self Portrait
I wanted to start my 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits challenge with an au natural photo of myself not wearing any make up or contacts. Me and my camera without any distractions.
Inspiration song:“But how we move from A to B it can’t be up to me ’cause you don’t know
Who I was before you
Basically to see a change in me
I’d be losing, so I just ignore you, yeah
But your on my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind
But maybe in time, in time, in time
I’ll tell you
A little bit, a little bit
A little bit in love with you
I guess that I’m a little bit, a little bit, a little bit in love with you”
– Drake ‘Little Bit’ (featuring Lykke Li)
Today I am announcing another great and wonderful project for the next year: 52 Weeks of Self Portraits. With my 365 Challenge wrappedup this month I needed a new challenge and since I already post a self-portrait every week it felt natural to start a weekly self-portrait challenge. However the biggest challenge for me is I wanted to make these portraits extra creative and work really hard to make the single self-portrait stand out. I am very excited to start work on this project and have been planning for it since January! I will still be doing my camera profiles but they will incorporated into post days so if you liked those they will still be happening but starting next week you will be seeing a fresh self-portrait that I have taken that very week. I am excited to start this challenge and I have no doubt it will be a challenge as I have weeks were I just don’t want a photo taken of myself. It will be crazy to see 52 self-portraits of myself and see where I am a year down the line. I feel like I change so much, not just my hair but what I am wearing and how I express myself. It feels like a start of an interesting adventure…
My old house that I lived in with Victor for a year and half a few years ago had the most amazing roof top! Thought I’d show you guys the photos I took on the day I decided to explore the rooftops and climb up the adjacent building’s roof. I am scared of heights but I like to push myself and I wanted to see how high I could go ever since we moved in (although no idea why I decided to do it in the winter). You can access the rooftops by walking down the stairwell from our balcony, and then you can climb to the next rooftop by going over the little wall between roofs.
Me sitting on the highest possible roof that required me to climb the rusted fire exit and then a long rusted ladder to the top on the roof beside our building. At this height I am actually above our 3rd floor apartment.
I love this shot. Also if you look closely you may notice the fire escape I went up to reach the ladder to the roof isn’t attached the wall….I didn’t notice this until I was half way up it and it started to sway. Was a little scared and going down it legit felt like it was going to snap off.
Me with my hat hair back on my own roof top. Man I miss that apartment, Victor talks about it all the time. It was his dream house for some reason even though it was really noisy since it was right downtown and way too small for two people. We did have some amazing roof parties though.
I am in the stage right now of trying to figure out what hair colors I want to have this year and I’d love to see if I could get my hair back to this amazing blue color – it’s probably one of my favourite colors especially of the strip of light purple that went all around my head. .
The one part I love the most about winters in Montreal is the ice skating. I’ve lived in Vancouver for such a long time that I forgot about how much I love to skate. It makes me feel like a kid again, although I’m not a great skater or anything. I can go fast and I feel comfortable enough to bring my camera with me but I never mastered stopping. I use to know how to skate backwards but I haven’t done that since I was in Elementary school. lol. There are so many neat and free skating spots too around Montreal which makes it easy when you own your own skates. I picked mine up for $8 the first year I moved here from Canadian Tire, they are figure skating skates so they kill my feet because they are so narrow but I love them. Here is a few of me skating this month at the Fete des Neiges. What’s your favourite winter past-time or childhood memory about the winter?
Watching the world pass makes me feel so at peace. I feel that being such a nomad as a kid as made me forever uneasy when I’m in one place for too long. Travelling and watch the landscape just slip by just eases my mind and makes my soul feel fulfilled. I wish I could travel all the time like my brother, it’s one of the things I should do more of. The decision to never learn how to drive was a mistake on my end, although I feel like if I had a car I would just drive around for hours at night when I couldn’t sleep so maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have that ability. I really enjoyed the 5 hour train ride from Montreal to Toronto two weeks ago, I could be on a train forever. I was able to take so many photos out of the dirty window for the last few hours of our trip. I think the people behind me thought I was wired as I was snapping away with my Polaroid and Nikon camera. The self portrait double exposures really capture me trying to be a part of the landscape I being whisked through.
Today for Self Portrait Sunday I just had to do a look back at the last time I had all blue hair. I’ve been looking at old photos from my 2011 trip to Vancouver so I could get a few printed off and was really blown away by not only how short my hair was but the color. These photos were taken in my friend’s backyard during my trip of my before and after look before getting my hair cut. It’s been such a long time since I’ve had short hair sometimes I forget how it looked on me and I can say I’m pretty happy it’s not that length anymore. The color is a mix of Manic Panic Atomic Turquoise and Punky’s Atlantic Blue (with perhaps some Punky Purple as well). Makes me tempted to go back to all blue, I am currently looking for a new color for February. For my complexion though I find blue is really hard to pull off. I also don’t have my facial piercings which is a wierd sight. Below is me being really silly!
Self-Portrait Sunday: Ising Pucky and Me
The Ising Pucky I camera was made in Germany around the 1950’s, with a cast aluminium body and a pseudo TLR style viewfinder. It takes 120 film and comes with a custom leather case. My Ising Pucky I is my favourite vintage camera although not technically my first it’s the camera that inspired me to look into vintage cameras more. The best fact about my Ising Pucky though is that it’s from Chile. It still surprises me that this gem found its way into my life. The long journey from Chile to my house in Montreal started with my boyfriend’s best friend’s sister (Victor is Chilean and until 5 years ago lived there). She found the camera in her grandmother’s attic and decided to sell it because she didn’t think it could be used to take photos anymore. I of course found out about it through Facebook and fell in love. So we wired money from Canada to Victor’s dad who lived near to her fashion store so he could go and buy it from her. After that it was in his house for several months until he sent the camera to us by post for a Christmas present. When it arrived I was delighted to find out it used 120 film and was in working condition. It will always be my favourite camera even though it doesn’t take double exposure photos and I still haven’t managed to get it to take a good portrait but it’s exciting to me and I cannot wait to take some color photos with it this summer. I love taking black and white shots during the winter months. These were taken yesterday as I braved the snow. This is what it’s like when you live in Montreal when you are a photographer, 4 months of the year you have to deal with these conditions.
I had another post planned for today but I still needed to take photos for it and I’ve been sick for the last few days and didn’t think going outside would really help me recover. So I decided to take these photo inside yesterday in lieu of the other one I had planned. Just silly photos of me wearing my new cat eats (that I love so much). Don’t worry though being sick shouldn’t effect any other posts this week and next week I’ll have a chance to take photos of me and my Ising Pucky outside in the snow for the next post in my series about me and my cameras.
My Hair Adventure
Last week I did Part 1 of my hair retrospective for the last year and today I am continuing on with Part II starting off with the month of July!
August was the same color of pink but I filled in the blond and had the great idea of adding Punk Atlantic Blue to the tips of my hair (hard to see in this photo). I loved it but the blue faded every week because I wanted it to be super pale so I basically put it in my hair 10minutes before I was going to shower so in 1 shampoo it would wash out.
As much as I was loving the pale pink hair I really needed to do my roots and anytime I bleach my roots I feel tempted to change up my hair color. I was really curious to see how my organic strawberry blond dye would look with the super faded pink. So I did it and it turned out rather strange looking as even though it’s rather light it stands out a lot beside the pale pink. This color only lasted a weeked. The roots are Herbatint Orange and Manic Panic Wildfire for the tips.
Bangs! I gave myself bangs for the first time since I didn’t really think wanting my bangs back required a hair dresser – it’s a good first attempt and I think I will actually be cutting them again but I want to get the proper scissors first. I also dyed my hair almost completely with the Herbatint Orange leaving only a same line between the strawberyy blond and the red so it looks like a gradient.
Halloween! I just had to share again because I really wish I had this hair forever. I’ve never had extensions or a weave so its fun to play around with wigs and temporary have hair you could never have.
November was a continuation from the end of October except the strawberry blond faded like it does. I actually love the faded color more than the starting off color, I’ve dyed my hair this color in the Fall for the last 3 years and just love it. I was dying by the end to dye it but beside retouching the red I left it because I was waiting for my delivery of Special Effects.
And now for something completely different! My orange and pink hair dye (my camera hates really saturated red colors and the pink is very redish in tone). I am in love, I was waiting to buy more Special Effects and Napalm Orange and Atomic Pink live up their names! I added more of the Atomic Pink more towards Christmas and below is basically what it currently looks like.
I hope you like the journey through what I put my poor hair through! I already have in mind 3 colors for next year and hope to install some synthetic dreads. My other predictions for the next year are more half and half hair as that style is still my go to choice. If you curious to see what I end up doing check on Sunday’s for Self Portrait Sundays as I usually post a hair update once a month.
Over the last 12 months I’ve had my hair an array of various colors so I thought for the end of the year I would do a self-portrait retrospective on my hair. It’ll also helps me next year when I try and remember the colors I liked and ones that I badly wanted but in the end didn’t really love. The photos will be in order starting from January all the way to now and I am trying to mix it up and show you photos that I previously didn’t use so some of these will be hella casual. I’ll also be sharing what I liked or disliked about each look as well, this week I am doing January to June and next week will the last 6 months of the year.
I started off the year with an experiment to see what it would look like to have half and half hair because I have never done it before. I didn’t want to go too crazy at first so I decided to use two different shades of purple hair. The colors are Punky Purple and Punky Plum and both of them are disappointing which I already knew when I put them in but I had been given half full bottles of them for free (Punky’s purple colors are always wierdly pink). I really loved the half and half look even though the two shades were almost impossible to tell apart.
I wish that was my hair! Hahaha I bought a wig in January that is my dream hair color – lavender. For February after it started to fade I just added in more purple so it’s not that different from January’s look. This is my Valentines outfit with slightly curled hair.
I decided to keep the paler purple color in because it had faded to such a nice color and bleached the other half. After bleaching sometimes I don’t dye it right away, so I had blond and purple for a week.
Purple and turquoise!!! 3rd month in a row with half and half and half hair color, this time though one of my all time favourite hair colors Manic Panic Atomic Turquoise. I love these two colors together, I think they look so amazing together and I really want to do this color in the future. It looked so pretty when parted and my roots turned into this lovely purple blue color.
My purple and turquoise hair was starting to fade a lot in April although this shot it’s still quiet bright. I love this photo though since in February I bought a punch of different balls for my piercings and really started to play around with them and change them constantly. I love having them match the color of my hair.
So in the middle of April I was dying to change my hair color as the purple was really faded so I decided again to only bleach one color out and keep it the same style. This time I added in green to go with the turquoise. The color is Manic Panic Electric Lizard. Can you tell I love half and half hair color? It’s really fun, although I really want to do it when I have proper bangs as my side part really don’t do it justice.
My first time trying to do a barrel roll hair style like rockabilly girls wear. I loved it, and apperently completely forgot about it because I haven’t done it since. I love how the color just changes in the barrel roll from green to blue. Both of these colors look much better after they’ve mellowed out.
Started off the month with my super faded blue and green half and half hair and lots of roots. I was sad to see it go though because both colors fade to such a nice color but it was amazing while it lasted.
I knew that I wanted my hair to be super pale pale pink for the summer and for my friend’s wedding so I had to bleach out all of the color. Bleaching out all the color is hard job when you have various shades of dye in it because there is always an undertone that refuses to go (I usually never completely strip the color out and instead just put the new color in). So this was my first complete head bleach and you’ll notice it has plenty of green leftover but I kept it this color for awhile to let my poor hair recover.
This was taken after I had bleached my hair again to remove all the leftover dye. Haha I woke up the day after I had curled my hair with this mess and just loved how it looked so I took a photo. I kept my hair blond like this for the rest of June. Victor is always happy to see me with my natural hair color (although I haven’t been this blond since I was in elementary school my hair is naturally light blond) but I hate it. It’s just so boring and I can really only mange a week or two of blond but I just have to put in some color.
That’s it for January to June, see you next Sunday for July to December! :)
It’s the start of a new year which means that there will be a few changes coming to Citizen Erased. It’s almost been the year anniversary since I first started posting daily and leaping into the world of blogging. I’ve tried a lot of various posts over the year to try and find my style and what I like to post about. I hope some of that material has been either useful or interesting to you guys (hit me up with feedback in the comments anytime). This year I’ve decided to stick with having formatted days because I am a bit of an organizational freak and with me working full time it just makes my life easier. Below will be the schedule, which I am sure may need some tweaking throughout the year and is more a rough estimate. I am really excited to test out more cameras and continue to develop film myself in the new year!
Schedule for 2014
- Pick of the Week – either an Etsy store feature, a book /store review, or a recipe.
- Vintage Tuesdays – bi-weekly vintage photography or cameras, photography I’ve taken with a vintage camera, and how to’s related to vintage cameras.
- Featured Artists – bi-weekly I will be featuring an artist’s work that I enjoy (hoping perhaps to start doing interviews with artists as well).
- Lomography Wednesday – bi-weekly photography taken with toy cameras, toy camera reviews and how to’s.
- Double Exposures – bi-weekly double exposure photography taken by myself.
- Weekly sharing of past photo shoots or casual photo sets of my life.
- Butter – cute photos of my cat while I talk about my week.
- 365 Challenge – monthly posting of my 365 Project where I take a photo every day. I post them daily on my tumblr and FB page as well. Will end in March.
- Monthly DIY – every month I do a DIY project which can vary between homemade pins to lamps made with slides.
- Month in Review – on the first week of the month I will review what happened that month, my favourite posts, and any updates or changes to the blog.
- Otherwise for the Saturdays that don’t have the above two posts it will a day off for me.
- Self-Portrait Sunday – weekly self portraits either current or from previous photo shoots.
- Camera Profiles – exploring me as a photographer with one of my many cameras.
- 52 Weeks of Self Portraits – will start in April after my 365 Project is over, basically a weekly self portrait series.
The last self portrait of the year! I am working on a retrospect post coming in the start of January for the last year in hair colors. It’s going to be really trippy seeing all of my various hair colors and styles right after each other. For this week I thought I’d just share this silly photo of myself double exposed with a bokeh style shot of Christmas lights. I love the aesthetic it creates. I am all festive and ready for Christmas coming up. The only thing I am missing is an ugly Christmas jumper to wear. I am so sad but maybe I’ll find one last minute at the mall to wear. Or perhaps I’ll just get one after to wear as there is still going to be a least 3 months more of snow. It’s like a magic snow globe right now in Montreal. I want to get outside and roll around (sick right now – boo) and take photos of myself. Excited for snow fun!
Today’s Self-Portrait Sunday is mostly a hair update since it’s been forever since I took a photo of myself. Do you ever have those weeks where you don’t want to look at yourself? I have been in that mood for the last two weeks, even in the morning when putting on make-up. I can mange putting on some blush and mascara and then I want to run away from the mirror. Lol. I’ve actually had my hair pink and orange now for more than a week but this is the first time I’ve taken a photo of it. I really wanted to show it off though because I love it. It’s so vibrant and aggressive. It’s been a nightmare though trying to adjust what I wear or my make-up to compliment it. That’s the biggest challenge with changing hair color, for me at least. I also bought new glasses because mine usual pair were starting to get scratches on the lenes…still debating if I like them. Yesterday I decided to be silly and play with a mirror I found on the road in -20 weather….I am very cold in these photos but I really wanted to try out my new remote control switch.
I find myself still fascinated with my older unedited photography of me wearing masks. The shots I am sharing today were taken in 2009 after a very unusual heavy snowfall in Vancouver just outside of the basement I was living in at the time. I am wearing the mixed media mask I made of my own self portrait edited by a friend on Flicker called HOTB. It feels weird to look at these because I honestly do not know what I was thinking or how I manage to get these shots while wearing a mask that actual blinds me. I’ve been seeing a lot of cool surreal self-portraits from international photographers lately and am really tempted to start a 52 Week project when my 365 project is over where I take a weekly self portrait of myself. I want to give myself a chance to explore the more surreal elements of my personality again.
I have the pink dye ready, it arrived last week from Vancouver and I am ready for pink hair again. It’s becoming one of my constant “ooooh I miss that hair color” and that’s after having pink hair twice already this year. I think I am getting pickier about what colors I dye my hair the older I get. It will be a different shade of pink though, not pale but not as purple as my hair in these photos. I may mix it with blue or orange…still deciding the accent color but that’ll be a surprise for you guys :) I was looking at the last few pink hair styles I’ve had for inspiration and found these silly photos of my modelling my green shrug that Victor bought me for Christmas from H&M last year. Thought I’d share as they are festive for winter and very silly and this month I am just having a relaxing time with blog and not being so serious.
Today for my series about me and my cameras I wanted to show my Holga CFN 120. The Holga was the first toy camera I ever owned and it has travelled with me all over the States and Canada faithfully by my side for over 5 years. It will always be my favourite toy camera and it has a special place in my heart as through it I discovered the joys of multiple exposures. Although not all smooth sailing as my version is actually the faulty model so even though I have the color flash attached to the body, my flash has never worked since I bought it which means I always missed out on the color flash option people love about Holga cameras. Regardless of only being able to use it in the daylight I have always been enamored with it and cracking the code of this gem. I remember when I first got it I was too poor to even get film developed so a lot of my early film usually ended up sitting around the house for years so it was an adventure when I finally did. I even bought Victor the special Anniversary addition that glows in the dark for our first Christmas together as he always loved my photos of it. I actually just got back into my Holga and realized that out of all my toy cameras it’s the one I’ve always been the happiest with the results. So I’ve been taking it on walks with me for the last 2 months and been happily getting back into the swing of things. I hope to show you lots of Holga photos in the new year, until then more shots of me and my Holga on one of our newest walks!
A look back for today’s Self Portrait Sunday to the spring when I had half and half blue and green hair. I was just looking at these photos the other day and marvelling at how awesome my hair looked. Do you ever get hair regret? I do, sometimes I change my hair so often that I just do it when it fades and don’t realize how awesome it looked until I am onto the next color. I think in the whole year this might end up being my favourite hair color, although the pale pink was really nice when it was bright. I still have 1 more hair change to do before the year is out. My current orange and red hair is already on its way out and I think instead of retouching and doing my roots I’ll be going for a pink and purple explosion. I usually do the same sort of colors around Christmas for the last few years and I think I’ll keep that tradition up, plus I stay away from anything red or green for Christmas because people seem to think I would dye my hair to match the holidays (what am I, a Troll doll?). But the start of next year – its game on for half and half hair – this time I am thinking about my favourite color combo – watermelon. Half green and half pink would be really amazing in the snow don’t you think? Let me know what you think, or if you’d like to see me go back to this exact look.
Still working the orange and red hair! Think I’ll be changing it up soon for winter as I like having blue and purple hair around December. I feel like I’ve grown really bored of Punky and Manic Panic hair colors which is too bad because they are the only hair dye brands I can actually buy here in Montreal. Maybe I’ll get one of my Vancouver friends to pick up some Special Effects and mail them to me – that will be wonderful. These self portraits are from a few weeks ago when I went apple picking with Victor and Zara.
So last year I was a Día de Muertos bride for Halloween so I thought for Self-Portrait Sunday I’d show you guys my costume in preparation for this year ! (I’ve shown it off a few times before as well) I had doing my make-up although it took a very long time and really enjoyed the bone details. I wore it once to a club without the wig and then on Halloween to work/hand out candy. It was great fun and I made the flower headband and bouquet which I was really proud off because I am not that arts and crafts. I actually kept the headband because I love it so much but haven’t found a use for it yet.
I feel like spilling the beans on my costume for this year as it’ll be the 3rd by next Sunday so you won’t even see it on Halloween. I am going to be a Lolita girl like the Japanese fashion trend. I have a knock off Lolita dress that I’ve actually had in my closet since February so that was just too perfect. I am going to be wearing a pale purple curly wig with lots of cute hair clips and lots of Lolita style jewelry and a bag that will just make the whole outfit go together. I am really excited to wear it! I’ll make sure to take lots of pictures to show you guys, for right now I don’t have much plans for where I am going to be wearing it but probably a club and work again like last year. What are your plans for Halloween and what is your costume?
Self-Portrait: Oktomat and Me
Oktomat is one of the brightest toy camera I have and what a perfect camera to match my new Fall hair color. This guy was the 2nd toy camera I ever owned and despite it’s many drawbacks I always really love shooting with it. It ‘s a really fun camera to use with it’s 8 shots taken in the span of 2.5 seconds. My outfit today is inspired by the fun playful nature of the camera. I really love having orange or redish hair during this season so I changed my hair last weekend to match the leaves and am in love with it. Its strange going from pale pink hair to such a dark color over night, I feel a little weird looking at myself in the mirror. It’s really fun though and I love the red tips. As I am sure you tell from my self portraits I love having different colored tips. I am so excited to have orange hair for the next month but a part of me is already thinking about what to do for winter.
If only I could paint by the numbers….this week’s self portrait is me from 4 years ago shortly after I had moved from Vancouver to Montreal. There isn’t much to say about this one, except I wish I did this more. Living with my boyfriend for the last 3 years has really cramped my spur of the moment photoshoots, god only knows what he’d think if he saw me do this on the balcony one day.
Self-Portrait Sunday: Me and the Giants
Yesterday I went to the Mosaicultures event in Montreal with Victor and my friend Zara. They have giant living sculptures that are just breathtaking. The place was packed to the brim but I did manage to sneak in a few shots of myself with the statues. They feel right out of a story tale and are so glad I was able to capture myself beside them…now only if they would come to life. Wouldn’t that be amazing? I want a tree giant to be my friend. lol. There will be more photos on Thursday from our walk around the botanical gardens so look out for that. Hope you had an amazing weekend!
Today’s self-portrait is a more subtle and gentler Citizen Erased….i.e. I think I look pretty normal here. It’s also the season, when autumn starts to come there is one thing I can think of – orange hair. It’s been the tradition for almost 4 years; when the leaves start to change I really like to match. This hair color was much brighter at one point in time and looked a lot less subtle than the color depicted in these photos but I like it either way – faded or bright. It’s already the end of September and I’ve had the same pink hair for almost 2 months. Sure I’ve added some blue to the bottom but it needs some serious spicing up….what better than some vibrant orange? Well you’ll have to wait and see…I have so much to do this weekend I don’t really see running out and buying hair dye and bleaching in my future right now. In the meantime enjoy some old me from 2010.
I wanted to start a series with Self Portrait Sunday documenting me as a photographer as currently I have very few photos of me with my cameras which to me is so odd because I carry them around with me everywhere. It feels like there is a large part of me going undocumented so I thought the best way was to once a month or so to document myself with one of my many camera. I thought it’d be great to capture me with my cameras and do little mini-shoots with them as the subject and dress in an outfit I thought suited the camera’s style. I’m usually one of those people who scorns at shots of people with their vintage camera or toy camera because they always seem to be a prop (which I find it frustrating as a photographer because even though I understand their beautify it seems sacrilegious to deprive them their actual function as that is what intrigues and delights me about cameras and it’s what they can do not how I look with them in my hands that I love). Yet at the same time the desire to share a camera from my collection with you that I have experimented with and invested in to use at capturing moments of my life seemed worth it as I feel like I try to use them as an extension of myself. So without further ado I present the first in the series: Metro-Flex and Me.
Self-Portrait Sunday: Metro-Flex and Me
Metro-Flex is a half frame pseudo reflex camera made in the 1940’s that uses 127 roll film. I picked mine up over Etsy because I loved the art deco Bakelite metal exterior that has an almost a quilted pattern to it. Mine doesn’t have the usual string strap to make it wearable around the neck which would have been helpful because to take photos and properly view the viewfinder you have to hold it around waist level. It’s in great condition and I love how satisfying the sound of the metal shutter is when you press it down. For the shoot I thought my black jacket with coat tails and the crazy pattern of my tights would work great with the cameras art deco appearance. It was hard to find something perfect to wear with the camera because it’s hard to imagine who exactly would use a camera like the Metro-Flex (there isn’t a lot of information available about this beauty). Below you can see me lining up a shoot and getting ready to press down the shutter…if you want to view photos I’ve taken with it check out my Vintage Tuesday post: here!
For today’s Self Portrait Sunday I wanted to share some photos from my summer trip to Prince Edward Island. I didn’t take too many but the last morning we were there while I was standing in the ocean enjoying a quiet moment by myself I took a few. I grew up by the Pacific Ocean and use to spend pretty much a month solid of the summer on the beach every day for hours so I always feel more myself when I am near the ocean or in it. I didn’t want my hair to be wet all day so I didn’t swim (which was too bad) but I had a lot of fun. Of course only after I took a few photos did I realize I had soot all over my face from cooking breakfast on the campfire – hahaha. Oh the beauty of camping!
And one from the night before when we went to the beach to watch the sunset. It was really magical and I did a mini photo-shoot with Zara and Victor that I cannot wait to show you guys. Have a great Sunday!
There is such perfect symmetry you can find with double exposures – I love trying to find it because it really pays off when you get that perfect mixture of light, contrast and texture. I adore my sparkly kitty mask, I don’t even remember where I picked it up from anymore but I remember seeing it and knowing I had to have it. This makes me miss my bangs, I’ve been considering getting them again….hair decisions are always the hardest. I always find myself looking back at what I had last year and debating (this photo is from last September or October). I thought I’d end on a non-double exposure so you can see the mask in more detail.
You wouldn’t eat unless I told you so.
I never knew that you would burn it so slow.
The mouth, the breath, the smoke.
The mouth, the breath, the choke.
Who would have thought,
I’m maybe caught.
Who would have thought,
I’m maybe caught.
Lover, don’t do anything!
Lover, don’t do anything!
The thing that leaves you in the darkness is her.
The thing that maybe once seemed harmful is her.
The lamp, the car, the door.
The lamp, the slip, the floor.
Is this attention just a burden to bear?
A sick reminder that I didn’t care?
The mouth, the breath, the smoke.
The mouth, the breath, the choke.”
Have you ever completely forgotten a hair style or color you’ve had and then randomly run across a picture of it and are really surprised? That happened to me this week, I was looking through old photos from last Fall and saw a photo of me with pale purple hair and was really surprised cos I had completely forgot it. It was when I used an organic purple hair dye that I experimented with to trying and makes it pale purple instead of the more medium tone. It looked very bizarre and almost grey at times however I did like it and had for probably 3 months….so I don’t how I managed to forget that but I did. I think I am getting to the point where I need like a folder with all my hair colors all together so I can look back and remember. Plus it’d be good to make sure not repeat looks I’ve done before or maybe just remind myself of ones I really liked. It’s tricky though trying to duplicate hair colors because my hair reacts so differently each time even to bleach and the best colors are always flukes. Let me know what hair style or color you’ve had and then completely blanked out. I’ve thrown in a few photos taken when it was purple for today.
I arrived back from Vancouver a few days ago on the plane and am still adjusting to the time zone change so I thought I’d share a chill self portrait of me today taken in Vancouver. This was taken on the last day of my trip watching the sunset from my best friend’s apartment balcony. It was a great trip, although a little busy and hectic with the wedding for my friend and photo shoots. I got a massive sun burn all over my back as well that didn’t help. The blog will be in full force this week and in the next few weeks there will be lots of photos from my trip so look out for that. Oh and I add a shot of my amazing hairdo that I sported for the wedding. I love it so much!
The one thing I love about taking self-portraits is looking back to see where you were a year ago. Last year in August I toke these photos of me in the alley behind my house. The alley was such a cool place to hang out and take photos, it was covered in graffiti and plants growing out of toilets and bathtubs and lots of crazy sculptures and interesting pieces of mixed media art from various neighbors. The part I loved the most was the piano with planets coming out of the top of it with My Little Pony toys from the 80’s hanging out in the dirt and the broken mirrors laying around. I love broken mirrors for taking photos in, there is something menacing I find about reflections. They don’t really feel like you anymore. Thought I’d share the photos I toke that day! That alley way was the best thing about my old house and one of the few things I miss about living there. I want to get bangs again but think I’ll wait until they’ve grown out all the way and decided what I liked better. It’s crazy how long my hair has grown in just a year. Do you ever look at photo from a year ago and compare?
This series of self-portraits were taken back in 2009 when I use to listen to the Knife all the time. If you cannot tell I am wearing a mask of my own face. One of my incomplete mixed media masks. I still haven’t finished it even though it’s been years. I miss this house where these were shot. I only lived there a few months (in the basement) but it was my friend Zara’s house and she lived there for years. I have very good memories of that place spanning several years, her Uncle sold it recently which was a shame. I felt very much trapped in the time I lived there, it was shortly before I moved to Montreal and was just grasping at release from a city that I no longer enjoyed. It’s when I really started getting into double exposures. I have always been fascinated by double exposures, I guess it’s the dual aspect of personality you get with them and then sense of motion, it reminds of movies where people blur when they move or Japanese horror movies. These shots evoke a lot of emotions for me, I really think the mask’s expression says it all really.
A little late today on the Self-Portrait Sunday! I toke these photos only a few hours ago while on an adventure to find train tracks with Victor. I wanted to take new photos because I changed my hair this week again! Yes, the blond hair is gone…it lasted a few weeks which is usually as much as I can tolerate before I get bored. I did have it for over 3 weeks however as I wanted to give my hair a rest before bleaching it and to get a really nice pale pink I wanted to make sure I had it as close to white as possible. I kept the part that frames me face blond as I got it very close to being white and I like not having my entire hair one color. My favourite thing to do with my new hair is look through it at the sun. I tried to take pictures of it but it never catches the light the same way my eyes see it, a problem any person with colored hair knows. I am going to be in a dear friend’s wedding party in just over a week and thought the pale pink would look good with the purple bridesmaid dress that I’ll be wearing and more subdued than my usual dark multicolored hair. Pale pink is great for the summer and I am in love with it! Next week it’ll be back to my artsy self-portraits for a few weeks as I am going to be outta town so What I Wore will be on hiatus until I get back.
I love being able to change to my hair, and I’m really excited about my next color. For the summer I think I’ll have various shades of pink but for right now I’ve gotten rid of the all the previous colors to make it blond. I had to bleach my hair twice, as blue and green hair dye are the worst to get rid of (I suggest to go straight into a purple or a shade that will look good with blue undertones instead as bleaching it that much is NOT healthy). Now that my hair is kinda blond I am going to try and tone it to be whiter in color before making sections of it pink. My friend’s wedding is coming up in July and I want to have pale pink and white hair for that so it’s not so loud. It is refreshing to see myself with my natural shade of hair color instead of a crazy color but blond is so boring after a week, lol. I’ve been waiting at least a week to do the 3rd bleaching and get ride of all the green and yellow. Cannot wait for it to be white! These self portrait were taken on a walk over the bridge by my house last weekend.
Oh I had to throw this in there, while bleaching my hair the first time I made my hair into little buns. I wish I could do this all the time! Continue reading %s
“Young hearts burst open wounds bleed fresh”
Today’s self portrait is from one of my favourite sets of myself. These were taken in 2007 before I even had a DSLR, and just used a Sony digital camera. I really need to revisit this idea at a later time and refine it. I’ve always been fascinated and creeped out by the idea of puppets. One of the biggest things I had to deal with in my earlier 20s was the notion of being controlled by someone else. I’ve always used my photography as a personal freedom, and use to spend hours doing photos shoots with myself as a way to expression some of the darker parts of my personality and experiences. I like to incorporate that into my more professional photography but haven’t had much chance to lately.
The start to another Black and White week, which are starting to become almost monthly (which I love). I work mostly with b&w film for now because I’m developing my own and color film requires me to take it to a lap (Montreal does not have good film laps) so I’m saving my colored film for when I master b&w. Let me know what you think about b&w weeks!
This is one of my black and white self-portraits, I just like the heavy contrast and the grain created from the alteration of the exposure. I do not often use Photoshop (in fact I actually have not had Photoshop installed on a computer of mine in 5 years, this was actually made with Flickr’s old system) but I do like altered photos once and while. You’ll probably notice my photos are usually not even remote corrected, I try not to crop either. I do think alteration is okay but I try to stay instead the bounds of what I could do if I had access to a photo lap, color changes, contrast and lighting.
Today’s self-portrait was taken at Venice Beach in 2009 during a trip I toke by Greyhound around the West Coast. Its been raining like all hell this week and seriously depressing outside so its nice to look at pictures of the beach. lol. I’m holding one of my multi-media masks in front of my face, this is actually made with a self-portrait of myself as well. My strawberry blong colored hair looks so out of place for me, there was green tips but those didn’t last long on the trip. If you wondering about What I Wore posts I’m going to be doing another one for next week when we get a sunny day here in Montreal. If you want to see more shots of Venice Beach, for Lomography Wednesday I put up a few Holga photos (here). Hope where ever you are it was a good week, and the weather wasn’t all bad.,,I do enjoy thunder and lightening so I am not complaing too much.
What I Wore :
Dress: Old Navy
Bag: Cambride Satchel Company
Leopard print sweater: H&M
Tights: Mod Cloth
Head wrap: Free gift from ModCloth
Custom pin of Butter’s face: Mel Stringer
Camera pin and necklace: random stores in Toronto’s Kensington Market
I wore this outfit on Saturday, and decided basically to wear a lot of blue and try to make it have rockabilly flare to match my barrel roll hair-do. This is my first time trying to do a barrel roll and I’m pretty happy with the results! I am doing a photo shoot on Monday and will be doing the model’s hair in a rockabilly style so I thought I needed some practice. My first time taking What I Wore pictures went really well, I enlisted the help of Victor to stand in front of the camera on the tripod so I could frame and setup the exposure for each shot and that worked great. We went to this vieux alleyway a few blocks from our house, and basically were stared at by an old lady the whole time, saw two girls sleeping in the park right beside where we were taking photos as well as homeless guys shouting. Next time I think I’ll trying to go somewhere different, lol. I’m happy with the shots but know the more I take them the more they will improve. Its nice capturing my outfits, and I hope to do more (and trust me these are the best, I looked terrified in most of them).
I love this dadaist piece from my backlog. I’ve had it hanging in my house of years, and I cannot wait to one day blow it up and have it in a gallery. This piece is very much of the definition of what I love about photography and art and what I want to bring to the world. My fluffy stuff it like my ‘everyday’ photography but this is really my passion. As a self-portrait I think this says everything about me, I can see so much of my past in my expression. In a lot of my work my expression is very blank, I really like being a canvas for what else is happening around me. This photo employed a lot of my who I am, and I find that beautiful to see.
Today’s self-portrait is from 4 years ago when my hair was half blond and half purple when I had just arrived to Montreal. There was always so much sun in the morning and I lived in this great apartment on the 18th floor for a few months. At this point in time I had just moved in and literally owned no furniture except a couch. My hair was so short!
Have so many plans for this weekend. Started with a really long walk on Saturday and hoping to take another walk later today. Walking around the neighborhood and exploring buildings. Me and Victor are trying to find deserted buildings or factories to explore so we are canvasing our area. These shots were taken this week, as you’ll notice since my hair is new! I just had to show off my half green (with a bit of blended yellow) and half turquoise hair. The half blue and pink was getting faded and boring, so happy with the new look. Haven’t had a chance to take a fancy self-portrait but couldn’t wait to show you guys :)
Tomorrow my monthly DIY project will be how to make paper origami crane chains which are one of my favourite things. In 2008 I made 1500 paper cranes and made chains of 1000 of them for good luck. It was a really fun project and when I was done I toke a few photos of me with them when my hair was blue and red and so short. :) This photo brings make a lot of old memories of my last year in Vancouver. I have 6 of the chains left, I gave a few to friends and to coworkers with kids. Look out tomorrow for how to make your own!
I was just thinking today about what was happening in my life in April last year. For one it was sunny, and I had just gotten my facial piercings put in (I cant believe I’ve had these guys for a whole year – I still love them so much), and I had apple colored hair and bangs! So much has changed but still I feel like the same person. I’m actually dying my hair this color again next week, I miss the green. I decided to add a silly one of me trying to do a double exposure. The shots all turned out blurry but I still like this one, I look so serious though!
Maybe I can do a year ago post in April every year, that’d be fun.
Awww I’ve been really missing this old haircut of mine, maybe I’ll get bangs again (they are starting to grow out and still in that inbetween stage where either you deal with them being ‘eh’ so cut them again). Light blue and pink are always my favourite colors but they are very hard to do. My hair needs to be dyed again, this time half green and blue, I am thinking about doing it next week!! I cannot wait to start taking more new self-portraits but going down memory lane is always fun.
Happy Easter from Citizen Erased Photography
(do I keep saying that, its my favourite holiday so I get excited)
An Easter time self-portrait. This photo is from 2009 when my hair was a unfortunate color. I tried to dye my hair strawberry blond and it did not react properly to my bleached hair and gave me this straw color. I only kept it long enough to repair before re-bleaching it and changed it to another color. This was not the last time I tried strawberry blond and it didn’t work that time either. I am at my Aunt’s house holding all my dyed Easter eggs from the weekend before made by me and my friends.
For Sunday, I am really enjoying sharing my collection of self-portraits. Today’s is me wearing one of my custom Citizen Erased mask’s. The face on the mask is the only one I’ve made from a photo that I didn’t take. It’s Aphex Twin, if you are a fan of Aphex Twin you may remember when there was masks of his face floating around. The smile is so sinister. This was taken in 2009, I had just recently moved into my 2nd house in Montreal and was trying out the crawl space in the bedroom. The photo is just suppose to fun, although I am sure most people will think it’s creepy. :)
I dyed my hair last week! This year I’m really into having my hair half one color and half another. Since New Years, its been half purple and half pink, however the colors were so similar to each other I don’t think anybody could tell. So I wanted to make it a little more extreme difference between each side. I thought about half green and half turquoise as the colors are still in the same family but the day I was bleaching my hair I realized the pink was still so vibrant that I could just bleach one side and for a few weeks have pink and turquoise. Its so fun, I am really loving it.