*I’ve rebelled for the last 52 Weeks post and instead of choosing 1 photo I’ve chosen 6.
“And I’d unmask each one ’til they exile me”
– Limplifter ‘Hostess’
I am finding it hard to write this last 52 Week of Self-Portrait post, and not just because right after taking these the corner of this lovely and very heavy mirror fell onto my very large forehead and gave me a concussion. But please do excuse me if I’m a little off my game writing this – I’ve spent the last two days lying in bed not being able to stand upright and function and am just getting back into having my full brain capacity back (is it really ever truly back?). So this week’s photos are supposed to be some meta type style post where I show you the Doppelgängers of photography. That weird notion that what I’m showing you on a weekly basis is such a narrow view of what’s actually happening. How I can change the perception of myself and my appearance at will to create another version of myself. In most of these I’m directly showing you the camera and using the mirror to show that other side and even how different the same person can look at just the slight difference of angle. It’s really the absurdity of self-portraits. When I see self-portraits done by professional photographers all I think about is their setup, their crew, the behind the scenes, what that looks like. How much thought they had to instil into that one image to create the perfection that can truly be expressed with self-portraiture. As you can tell by my series over the last year I don’t often use tripods and in fact when I do I look 100% more awkward and out of place with what to do with my body and my face. I always feel like the camera is an extension of my arm and when it’s not there I am at a loss…which I guess in theory makes me probably not a suitable photographer for self-portraiture. I’m unsure. I often realize I do self-portraits because I have an idea, something I want to create but do not have a model to test it on, which is a weakness I have to work on and this project has enforced that. I’ll be discuss more about my final thoughts about this project next Thursday so I won’t go more into that but basically thought for the last photo I wanted to share what it actually feels like if you were to be my neighbor and were looking out your window on occasion and seeing me in all manner of outfits taking photos of myself. How I can create my own Doppelgängers and transform myself. I’m not 100% happy with the final photos, I will be directly about that and they weren’t the original idea but fuck sometimes you just end up with the shots you end up with. Sometimes you end a project by giving yourself a concussion with the prop you are using – life happens. It’s the end. 52 Weeks came and went on Sunday.
51/52 A New Sky
A new beginning! It’s starting to really hit me that my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project is over. Just one more than I’m finished, I’m not hundred percent sure what I am going to be doing for it but I really want to do an elaborate photo-shoot (we will see if time and weather permits that). I think it will feel really weird when it does end as I am so use to coming up with ideas for it and planning shots or concepts I want to do. Not that I can’t keep creating those ideas but its different when you don’t have a time restraint. I feel like I’m one of those people who loves making myself busy, yet I am insanely lazy all at the same time? I don’t know how that works. My week off of the blog was nice in a way but I didn’t spend as much time as I wanted on my website or my crane projects. Without deadlines I think I’m a little lost. Feeling a bit down about that however this photo really made me feel like the 52 Weeks project was worthwhile. Hope you have a good week and I’m back this week with daily posts.
“Over and outside
Dark doves will fly
Over a new sky
Oh who you are”
– The Presets ‘A New Sky’
50/52: 90s Child
52 Weeks of Self-Portrait is almost finished and I can’t believe I only have 2 more to do before completing an entire year of weekly self-portraits. The name for this week’s, 90s Child came about because of the amazing fake fur jacket I found at H&M yesterday. It’s an incredible find (only $30 on sale from $90) and I just had to pick it up because in the late 90s I always wanted this raver style jacket. It also has a bit of that Spice Girl’s vibe to it, so very 90s to me for some reason. Plus it has bear ears, so I think it’s supposed to be polar bear coat? Regardless it is now my favourite coat that I own, the only disappointment is I won’t be able to wear it very much this year as Winter is starting to disappear (there is a lot of hope in that statement since after week of beautiful weather it just snowed all weekend). The outfit is also very Batman. I don’t even know why I own a Batman pin and pants of the same logo but I do now and I love it. I picked up the pin in Toronto last month and for some reason a week ago when I saw these pants I decided they had to be mine even though I am only a fan of the original Batman series. I love the outfit and I never do OOTD’s – in fact I didn’t even know what that stood for until a week ago so I thought what the hey and did one before the project was through. The shirt is also H&M if you care and the two pigtails are going to be my new thing this spring so you might see me rocking them a lot. I haven’t figured out exactly how I want to style them so these are just quickly pulled together but I can’t wait to learn how to do more complex variations. Hope you are enjoying the end of your weekend and just a quick note that I will be taking the next week off because I need to do some work on both of my websites plus a few projects that I’ve been neglecting so I will see you next week on Sunday for the next 52 Weeks post!
More detailed shots of the outfit and hair!
What else can you do when it’s been a week straight of -20 temperatures beside make a mask out of your hair and looking longing outside….I mean probably a lot of things. This just happens to be what I did for this week’s self-portrait. I love weird hair photos and this marks the end of my roots so it’s almost a memorial to them. Goodbye natural blond, hello pastel blue and purple. Right now I’m sitting here with bleach in my hair and by next week I should have it all kitted out. Nothing makes me more excited for photos than a new hair color.
Am I nerd because I enjoy this photo simply because it has a Plague Doctor mask in it? Well it’s not %100 that mask but it does have the correct beak for it. It’s actually some cheap theater mask from Dollarama that I bought a few years ago in the hopes of transforming it one Halloween. Me and best friend Ana in our early 20’s always had a desire to dress up as Plague Doctors together but never did. I found it last night in my kitchen cupboard while organizing and wanted to wear today. I do love the silhouette of me and the mask as it’s hard to tell this is a self-portrait. Double exposures are great for that. If you wanted to see me wearing the mask, here is a silly shot of me on my balcony:
Haha. I have a few more double exposures of me wearing this mask that I might just share at some point and time. I have a real trouble with this 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project simply being satisfied with one photo. There is more black and white photography coming up this week, enjoy!
At the Drive-in “Take Up Thy Stethoscope and Walk”
Spending my nights glancing into the sunsets on my lamp…okay maybe not but I do love the way the light from the lamp is bouncing off my face. This lamp is probably the most useful thing that happened this week since I’ve been sick. I’ll actually have a DIY on how to make your own slide lamp on Thursday if you are curious. It’s been a pretty tame week as I’ve been trying to rest up, except for going out to eat and celebrate Chilean Independence Day on Thursday I’ve just been working away at planning future posts and getting stuff done. Can’t believe I’m almost at the half way point of my 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits project.
Before I can explain that I mean
Before I can tell you
Man has lost control of his life”
– The Tuss ‘Synthacon 9’
A little late but here is this week’s self-portrait, a shot of me and my crane embodiment Luna – Luna who likes pina coladas and getting stuck in the rain. *laughing* This was taken today (which would explain why I’m post this close to midnight) while I was doing my mtlcrane project. I will be talking more about my crane project this week actually, but in short I am putting cranes up all over Montreal with little name tags with silly 80’s songs and I name each one and take photos of them before walking away. Today I hung up my favourite crane which I gave my name and I thought it was just the perfect representation of me (I’ve included my feet as well as I loved the texture of this bridge). The placement of the crane also has a weird emotional attachment to me because this particular bridge reminded me so much of my birth place Edmonton, Alberta. I lived there until I was 6 and the one thing that left a big impression on me even after all these years was the bridges they have there. This bridge was the same color and material as the one near my childhood home so it’s very appropriate that my crane was placed there. Today’s inspiration by the way is the amazing new Aphex Twin song – it’s too good.
18/52 River Watching
This week’s self-portrait came totally out of randomness when me and my friend passed by a train bridge driving through a small town. We stopped the car and hopped out to investigate and take photos. In the photo I’m sitting on one of the bridge’s beams dangling my legs over the river below. I’m also not wearing any make-up as I cried most of it out laughing with Zara hours before picking blueberries. It was just so peaceful and relaxing sitting on the edge that I really wanted to try and share the moment with you even though it’s not the greatest photo. I’ve really started to think about how weird it’ll be to look back at my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project next year and see all these moments in times that I may have forgotten about and the evolution of my hair. Speaking of my hair, it’s so pretty right now I’ve included a photo below of it and me squinting in the sun while on the land part of the train tracks.
17/52 Needle in the Hay
Today’s self-portrait is just a classic style of black and white portrait photography using triple exposure to get the effect of the leaves around my face. I was working on a more ‘spookier’ idea with me holding my two floating heads but I’m not a master at having similar facial expressions in 3 constitutive shots so it was a bit hard to get a shot I liked (example: one would be still, another angry and another more frightening…my expressions kept throwing the shot off). I did love how serene I looked in this one so I cropped out the rest of the shot. I’ve always wondered what my photography would look like if I photoshopped it and did effects like most modern photographers but I’m just happy taking simple shots to be bothered with it. Hope you like and next week is super busy so it’s good idea I already kind of know what I want for next week.
“There’s a name you keep repeating
You got nothing better to do
And you’re with someone who’ll hear you say it and just nod
Her hand on your arm
Her hand on your arm
She put her hand on your arm
And told you her name you can’t pronounce it
I’ll show you around this alphabet town”
– Elliott Smith “Alphabet Town”
Today’s photo brought to by 3 days of dancing and very little sleep since Mutek was this week. Me and Victor had the weekend light passes so we got to go to all the evening shows and today’s Piknic Electronik. It was amazing seeing djs from all over the world and being able to enjoy and experience their music live. The best set by far was the sexy Ricardo Villalobos who played last night for almost 4 hours up until 6am and again today for 2 hours at Piknic. Best visuals go to Audion though, and best collab song was local djs Mossa and Ben Nevile. Also loved Max Cooper and Magic Mountain High, need to listen to them more…it was a good Mutek. My week of rain ended with the hottest day yet this Spring – just in time for Summer I guess. I probably shouldn’t have trusted myself to take a photo this weekend – I barely managed to take this one (:p). But here we are, I tried to get one of me and Villalobos but it just wasn’t meant to be. Hope you had an amazing weekend! Excited to sleep in the next few days!
Here is another one of my watching Villalobos play his 2nd set at Piknic Electronik this afternoon, you can see the stage in my sunglass’s reflection. Also my new hair color! It is an ompre effect. Cotton candy pink into a darker neon pink on one side and then lime green/yellow to turquoise on the other. Loving it but forgot to change my piercings to match. Have a better photo of my hair on Friday if you are curious to what it looks like.