Am I nerd because I enjoy this photo simply because it has a Plague Doctor mask in it? Well it’s not %100 that mask but it does have the correct beak for it. It’s actually some cheap theater mask from Dollarama that I bought a few years ago in the hopes of transforming it one Halloween. Me and best friend Ana in our early 20’s always had a desire to dress up as Plague Doctors together but never did. I found it last night in my kitchen cupboard while organizing and wanted to wear today. I do love the silhouette of me and the mask as it’s hard to tell this is a self-portrait. Double exposures are great for that. If you wanted to see me wearing the mask, here is a silly shot of me on my balcony:
Haha. I have a few more double exposures of me wearing this mask that I might just share at some point and time. I have a real trouble with this 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project simply being satisfied with one photo. There is more black and white photography coming up this week, enjoy!
At the Drive-in “Take Up Thy Stethoscope and Walk”
Sometimes the best photos of a spur of the moment, like this week’s multiple exposure self-portrait. This mask is of a cat, but I feel like it makes me look like a Valkyrie in these photos. My best friend Ana gave it to me as a Christmas present and I love it so much I had to include it in this week’s 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait. Next week I hope it snows as I’ve yet to take a snow photo this winter. Hope you all have a good holiday, see you next week!
They puzzle me
Then the riddle gets solved
And you push me up to this
State of emergency
How beautiful to be
State of emergency
Is where I want to be”
38/52 Home Sweet Home
Some weeks I just get lost and feel like I can’t possibly recover. Most of those weeks are when my insomnia and anxiety are controlling me and my life is too much. Every day becomes me trying to fix my problems with in one fell swoop but instead spending the day too tired to even accomplish the simplest of things. Like a weekly photo…..so I sat on my couch in my new fuzzy sweater and I tried to hide.
“The shadow from the former
Over my shoulder waiting to take me home
I heard its every call
I know what it wants
I’m willing to leave for home”
– Iamamiwhoami “The Last Dancer”
I’ve falling in love with the Vieux-Port in the last month and thought I couldn’t go wrong choosing it to be the location for the last one of my mtlcranes featuring 80’s lyrics. I wanted to share the moment with you so I happily took this week’s self-portrait with it before watching it whip around in the wind and hoping one of the joggers and many walkers by would notice it before it snowed again (his name is Cobalt). There is something about being near the river that makes me feel a little calmer and it’s honestly the best place to be in Montreal when the sun starts to set because the beauty of it seems to come alive during dusk. Standing around in -4 weather was probably not the smartest idea…I may have stayed by the river’s windy banks watching the water and taking photos of the bridge and the Clocktower for hours as well and didn’t leave until my hands were too cold to even click the shutter anymore but it was a great walk. It was also nice capturing my lavender or lilac hair for the first time as well, it’s still not complete as I need to do some more tweaks to the color in areas but I love it and am so excited to have lavender hair for winter. It felts like a great way to spend part of my day off and I let go of a lot of stress I’d been feeling lately. I’ll leave you the song lyrics that were written on Cobalt’s tag:
“I am the son and the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of the nothing in particular”
– The Smiths “How Soon is Now?”
34/52 Photographer Eye
The hardest thing about doing a 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits challenge is actually taking one photo of yourself every week. This month I have been really frustrated with my photography and really wanting to step back from it and take a break to really see where I want to put my focus on for the new year and basically not feel like I’m stuck in rut for inspiration. None of that is possible when you ‘have’ to take a photo of yourself but still have the desire to actually make the photo interesting, non-generic and stand out not only as a self-portrait but from the other ones you’ve done in the months leading up this point. It’s hard, on top of it my hair is still this mishmash of colors and I’m sick (boo hoo is me right? lol). I’ve considered stopping but I am really interested in seeing what I end up with a year later for self-portraits. I see the value in a project like this but I do realize why some people never do projects like this – and it’s not because it’s hard. It’s because as a photographer, you know what you like in your photography and others – you don’t ‘have’ to take a photo or be in a situation where you show people photography that you don’t think is of your standard….projects like 365 and 52 Weeks Projects lead to that happening because you aren’t allowed to not share it and do it again later. I know next year when I’m done this project I will not being another one like it again. It gives me inspiration but it also stifles my creativity and energy. I wish I had enough time in my week to pour as much love into this project as I could but with everything I do sometimes it doesn’t even come into my Top 10 list of things to do this week. My ‘photographer eye’ is something that’s important to me as an amateur photographer because it’s how I share my view of the world. Sometimes I don’t want that to be anything less than the best, which is one reason I have been in need a break this month. Do projects like this really let you show your best? Let me know what you think in the comments and if you’ve run into the same wall yourself in the past with your photography. Love to hear from you!
This week’s self-portrait I will admit was totally last minute as I completely forgot to take a photo this week in my Christmas shopping haze and the arrival of all my craft. It’s taken in front of harlequindavidson’s graffiti piece near the Expozine that happened over the weekend. It was crazy, one day I was just browsing Expozine on the hunt for a graphic novel or perhaps an amazing photography zine (found awesome graphic novels but sadly all in French, and okay photography zines) and the next I had a table? Don’t ask me, I just showed up today with my postcards and portfolio and sat at a table for a few hours. Didn’t really sell much but it’s Expozine…and I don’t have a zine. BTW thinking of making my own photography zine (hahah smooth transition no?). I would probably do a combo of written words and photography as it’d be a neat way to connect with people. It was really fun the first day; the 2nd day was slightly traumatic as I don’t really like putting myself out there artist wise. It was really amazing to come outside and take photos with the pink smiling house that matched my hair, cheered me up and I think the photo captures my mood excately – the introvert me trying to hide. The artist does stickers and all kinds of pieces all over Montreal and anytime I spot one I smile ear to ear. His work makes me really happy and I really needed that after a long day. Also I’ll be doing a loot post of all the artist zines, prints and other goodies I picked up on Wednesday if you are curious!
‘Though some may hold the rose some hold the rope.’
This week’s self-portrait for my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait is something I’ve wanted to do all week. I’ve still not found the perfect use for my projector within my art as there really isn’t room in my house to properly use it (originally I bought it for making visuals with and for art shows). However it’s fun to pull it out and look at my photography being projected onto the wall. Sometimes I wonder what I’d do if I had a proper studio to have lights setup and equipment like my project…a dream for right now. Last night I decided to create something for the upcoming goth Christmas (that’s Halloween).
“If I could tear you from the ceiling,
I know the best have tried,
I’d fill your every breath with meaning,
And find a place we both could hide.
If I could tear you from the ceiling,
I’d freeze us both in time,
Find a brand new way of seeing..
Your eyes forever glued to mine.”
*the above link doesn’t lead to Blind but it’s another great song that gives me all the feels.
Last week’s self-portrait for my 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits is a little late because we didn’t arrive back from the trip until really late on Sunday and I’ve been in a really weird head space from work for the last few days. This is my mermaid portrait I was very excited to take and I think it turned out nice and dreamy. Although I’m a little addicted to taking multiple exposures of anything and water as I love the water-painting effect the ripples create. I spent so much of this day swimming and ended up sitting in the shallow waters of the lake taking photos of my toes and the water and doing other silly things that an adult probably should do for the afternoon. Oh and my inspiration this week is actually just the M.I.A. song that was played a millions times on the drive there and back as my friend I think only had 1 CD in her car (Slum Dog Millionaire soundtrack). I’ve been listening to her a lot in the last two months, if you don’t know much about her I suggest reading her Wikipedia as she’s really fascinating even if you aren’t into her music.
“All I wanna do is (BANG BANG BANG BANG!)
And (KKKAAAA CHING!)
And take your money”
-M.I.A. “Paper Planes”
Spending my nights glancing into the sunsets on my lamp…okay maybe not but I do love the way the light from the lamp is bouncing off my face. This lamp is probably the most useful thing that happened this week since I’ve been sick. I’ll actually have a DIY on how to make your own slide lamp on Thursday if you are curious. It’s been a pretty tame week as I’ve been trying to rest up, except for going out to eat and celebrate Chilean Independence Day on Thursday I’ve just been working away at planning future posts and getting stuff done. Can’t believe I’m almost at the half way point of my 52 Weeks of Self-Portraits project.
Before I can explain that I mean
Before I can tell you
Man has lost control of his life”
– The Tuss ‘Synthacon 9’
I cannot begin to state how excited this week’s self-portrait makes me. There is just something about dangling my feet over edges that always makes me feel a bit free. I think most people think its stupidity and dangerous but when you are comfortable with your own safety and you’re not being overly reckless it just feels like you’ve escape life confines and rules for a short moment. It’s the same sensation I get when I am swimming in the ocean. I would have stayed up there listening to Aphex Twin and A Tribe Called Red for hours if I could have. Instead I just spent half an hour there before heading back down to the ground level as we had finished exploring the silos and adjacent buildings. I also managed in the first few minutes there to smug tar on my forehead and it was impossible to remove, and I was still wet in this photo from biking in the rain to get to the Silos…so this week’s portrait is extra glamorous. Also on completely unrelated note, my hair is getting super pale and faded but I kind of enjoy it – don’t worry though it’ll be changing soon enough. I’m thinking purple for the next colour or maybe grey.
– A Tribe Called Red “Sisters”
I also made a short video as it’s almost impossible to really capture what it’s like up there (watch in HD):