If you wish to view each post, click here!
*I’ve rebelled for the last 52 Weeks post and instead of choosing 1 photo I’ve chosen 6.
“And I’d unmask each one ’til they exile me”
I am finding it hard to write this last 52 Week of Self-Portrait post, and not just because right after taking these the corner of this lovely and very heavy mirror fell onto my very large forehead and gave me a concussion. But please do excuse me if I’m a little off my game writing this – I’ve spent the last two days lying in bed not being able to stand upright and function and am just getting back into having my full brain capacity back (is it really ever truly back?). So this week’s photos are supposed to be some meta type style post where I show you the Doppelgängers of photography. That weird notion that what I’m showing you on a weekly basis is such a narrow view of what’s actually happening. How I can change the perception of myself and my appearance at will to create another version of myself. In most of these I’m directly showing you the camera and using the mirror to show that other side and even how different the same person can look at just the slight difference of angle. It’s really the absurdity of self-portraits. When I see self-portraits done by professional photographers all I think about is their setup, their crew, the behind the scenes, what that looks like. How much thought they had to instil into that one image to create the perfection that can truly be expressed with self-portraiture. As you can tell by my series over the last year I don’t often use tripods and in fact when I do I look 100% more awkward and out of place with what to do with my body and my face. I always feel like the camera is an extension of my arm and when it’s not there I am at a loss…which I guess in theory makes me probably not a suitable photographer for self-portraiture. I’m unsure. I often realize I do self-portraits because I have an idea, something I want to create but do not have a model to test it on, which is a weakness I have to work on and this project has enforced that. I’ll be discuss more about my final thoughts about this project next Thursday so I won’t go more into that but basically thought for the last photo I wanted to share what it actually feels like if you were to be my neighbor and were looking out your window on occasion and seeing me in all manner of outfits taking photos of myself. How I can create my own Doppelgängers and transform myself. I’m not 100% happy with the final photos, I will be directly about that and they weren’t the original idea but fuck sometimes you just end up with the shots you end up with. Sometimes you end a project by giving yourself a concussion with the prop you are using – life happens. It’s the end. 52 Weeks came and went on Sunday.
51/52 A New Sky
A new beginning! It’s starting to really hit me that my 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project is over. Just one more than I’m finished, I’m not hundred percent sure what I am going to be doing for it but I really want to do an elaborate photo-shoot (we will see if time and weather permits that). I think it will feel really weird when it does end as I am so use to coming up with ideas for it and planning shots or concepts I want to do. Not that I can’t keep creating those ideas but its different when you don’t have a time restraint. I feel like I’m one of those people who loves making myself busy, yet I am insanely lazy all at the same time? I don’t know how that works. My week off of the blog was nice in a way but I didn’t spend as much time as I wanted on my website or my crane projects. Without deadlines I think I’m a little lost. Feeling a bit down about that however this photo really made me feel like the 52 Weeks project was worthwhile. Hope you have a good week and I’m back this week with daily posts.
“Over and outside
Dark doves will fly
Over a new sky
Oh who you are”
50/52: 90s Child
52 Weeks of Self-Portrait is almost finished and I can’t believe I only have 2 more to do before completing an entire year of weekly self-portraits. The name for this week’s, 90s Child came about because of the amazing fake fur jacket I found at H&M yesterday. It’s an incredible find (only $30 on sale from $90) and I just had to pick it up because in the late 90s I always wanted this raver style jacket. It also has a bit of that Spice Girl’s vibe to it, so very 90s to me for some reason. Plus it has bear ears, so I think it’s supposed to be polar bear coat? Regardless it is now my favourite coat that I own, the only disappointment is I won’t be able to wear it very much this year as Winter is starting to disappear (there is a lot of hope in that statement since after week of beautiful weather it just snowed all weekend). The outfit is also very Batman. I don’t even know why I own a Batman pin and pants of the same logo but I do now and I love it. I picked up the pin in Toronto last month and for some reason a week ago when I saw these pants I decided they had to be mine even though I am only a fan of the original Batman series. I love the outfit and I never do OOTD’s – in fact I didn’t even know what that stood for until a week ago so I thought what the hey and did one before the project was through. The shirt is also H&M if you care and the two pigtails are going to be my new thing this spring so you might see me rocking them a lot. I haven’t figured out exactly how I want to style them so these are just quickly pulled together but I can’t wait to learn how to do more complex variations. Hope you are enjoying the end of your weekend and just a quick note that I will be taking the next week off because I need to do some work on both of my websites plus a few projects that I’ve been neglecting so I will see you next week on Sunday for the next 52 Weeks post!
More detailed shots of the outfit and hair!
47/52 The Snow Yak
I can’t believe there are only 10 more self-portraits left before I finish my 52 Week project. This week’s came to me in the middle of the night when I realized that soon the snow might be gone and thought, hey that Mark Ryden mask I have of The Snow Yak should make an appearance this winter. If you want a weather report of Montreal, it’s been snowing all week and -30 except for today so I’m crazy for thinking the snow will go away any time soon. I’ve been all over the place this week so it’s not hard to imagine my braid would leap there. My friend Zara is moving out of Montreal back to the West Coast and I think it’s really made me feel like I need to change up my life some way too so I’ve been obsession this week about organizing my house. Last night I finally hit my breaking point and I started moving furniture around at 3am (sorry downstairs neighbours) and completely changed how my living room/office looks. I had been thinking of turning our entrance room into a library of sorts and making the living room to be more functional as an office so I just started doing it. Right now everything around me is a mess but I feel like the next week I can organize and make positive changes and maybe that’ll clear my head a bit. This week inspirational song goes with the theme by the way, a British indie band by the name of…
“So I took a trip inside my mind
And it opened up these eyes which had been blind
I saw wonders I can’t define
Then I lost control and I fell
From this earthly heaven into hell
how long i stayed there, I couldn’t tell”
46/52 Rip My Heart Out
There was no way I was leaving my house for this week’s 52 weeks self-portrait as it’s been -30 all week, so instead I decided to play around with Victor’s laser pointer and make heart shapes in my living room. It seems every time I do black and white self-portraits that I do them in here, something I didn’t realize until I went to post this. I notice a lot of patterns when it comes to photo project, not matter how hard you try sometimes you just default to similar themes, locations, ectera. This week’s inspiration song btw makes me crack up. I think I’m the only person beside Victor who didn’t know about this amazing song. I heard it last weekend when I went to see my friend Derek dj and it’s been both of our’s jam since. Give it a listen if you haven’t heard it either. I’m in love with the coco…
“I’m in love with the coco
I’m in love with the coco
I got it for the low, low
I’m in love with the coco
36, that’s a kilo (aqui)
Need a brick, miss my free throw
I’m in love, just like Ne-Yo “
While I was visiting Toronto this week I thought I should try and do my 52 Weeks self-portrait which was probably not the greatest decision. It seemed the whole time we were there, either there was a snow storm outside or me and Victor were really busy eating and hanging out with friends. I couldn’t even snap one in the hotel because our room bizarrely enough didn’t have a window but instead a view of the hotel’s rock garden….it was like living in a basement suite all over again. Luckily yesterday we found this train museum after I decided I wanted to see the harbor and look at the frozen lake (which we never got to because we were too cold and had no idea where to go). It’s hard to see in this photo but I’m balancing on the last step of an antique train. I thought it was neat that it looked like I was floating above the snow below. As well I love when snowflakes stick to my hair. Hope you had a good weekend, I’m writing this from the train today as we slowly make our way back to Montreal and can’t wait to be home.
“I was addicted to ‘no absolutes’ kinda
But now I am very simple
Other interpretations possible
All this fear was drug induced
Am I nerd because I enjoy this photo simply because it has a Plague Doctor mask in it? Well it’s not %100 that mask but it does have the correct beak for it. It’s actually some cheap theater mask from Dollarama that I bought a few years ago in the hopes of transforming it one Halloween. Me and best friend Ana in our early 20’s always had a desire to dress up as Plague Doctors together but never did. I found it last night in my kitchen cupboard while organizing and wanted to wear today. I do love the silhouette of me and the mask as it’s hard to tell this is a self-portrait. Double exposures are great for that. If you wanted to see me wearing the mask, here is a silly shot of me on my balcony:
Haha. I have a few more double exposures of me wearing this mask that I might just share at some point and time. I have a real trouble with this 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait project simply being satisfied with one photo. There is more black and white photography coming up this week, enjoy!
Sometimes the best photos of a spur of the moment, like this week’s multiple exposure self-portrait. This mask is of a cat, but I feel like it makes me look like a Valkyrie in these photos. My best friend Ana gave it to me as a Christmas present and I love it so much I had to include it in this week’s 52 Weeks of Self-Portrait. Next week I hope it snows as I’ve yet to take a snow photo this winter. Hope you all have a good holiday, see you next week!
They puzzle me
Then the riddle gets solved
And you push me up to this
State of emergency
How beautiful to be
State of emergency
Is where I want to be”
38/52 Home Sweet Home
Some weeks I just get lost and feel like I can’t possibly recover. Most of those weeks are when my insomnia and anxiety are controlling me and my life is too much. Every day becomes me trying to fix my problems with in one fell swoop but instead spending the day too tired to even accomplish the simplest of things. Like a weekly photo…..so I sat on my couch in my new fuzzy sweater and I tried to hide.
“The shadow from the former
Over my shoulder waiting to take me home
I heard its every call
I know what it wants
I’m willing to leave for home”